[THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES THEME – INTRO]
SASHA
Hello! And welcome to Camp Flying Moose for Girls of All Kinds. This is an actual play special episode of this podcast – of this podcast feed. I am Sasha Sienna, I played Georgie Barker on The Magnus Archives, and today I am going to be the Camp Counselor, or GM. And with me is, Lowri, Annie, and Frank! Lowri, who are you?
LOWRI
Oh hello! I’m Lowri! Pronouns are she/her, and I was a producer for The Magnus Archives from about halfway through Season 4. I’m playing Rowan, her pronouns are also she/her, and she’s… proving to be a little bit of a nerd who loves rules, I’m discovering.
SASHA
And Annie, who are you and who are you playing?
ANNIE
Hi, I’m Annie Fitch, my pronouns are also she/her. I was a vocal cut editor for Magnus Archives from around the end of Season 4 to Season 5, and I’m playing Ivy, the athletic social butterfly of the camp, who is never without her trusty backpack of snacks.
SASHA
And Frank, who are you and who’re you playing?
FRANK
Hey! I’m Frank Voss, I played Basira Hussain in The Magnus Archives, and today I am playing Violet, who is… just a problem.
[SOMEONE D’AWWS]
SASHA
Okay, so before we left last week, we found that the gang had awoken to find that the camp had been somewhat messed up during the night. There were scratch marks all over the beautiful buildings that they had painted whimsical bright colors just the week before. The fences and little wooden steps and things like that had all been smashed up, and there’s like gouges in the ground. It’s just – it’s a mess.
And we found that Rowan and Ivy had some trouble in the dining room trying to socialise in their normal way, in that a lot of the girls seemed to be separated out into two rival cliques, if you will. And Violet, in investigating the scratch marks on the walls, just managed to make more scratch marks and now is being threatened with a trip to see Millie, the leader of the camp.
[THE SOUNDS OF CHIRPING CRICKETS FADE BACK IN]
Shall we pick back up with Violet? You have offered your stick of gum –
[SNICKERS FROM PLAYERS]
LOWRI
Oh, yes!
VIOLET
It’s Juicy Fruit!
SASHA
The camp counselor Stevie –
STEVIE
I don’t like Juicy Fruit.
VIOLET
What are you talking about? Everyone likes Juicy Fruit!
STEVIE
No, not me.
[VIOLET GROANS]
Juicy Fruit’s for kids. Now come on, it’s time to see Millie.
VIOLET
Fine.
SASHA
She’ll like, charge off towards the main building, which looks kind of like a very impressive lodge, like if Davy Crockett had tried to build himself a small mansion?
[FRANK LAUGHS]
Like a Regency mansion, but tiny? That’s probably what it would look like. And it is also topped with the robotic cock-crower crows every morning at 8 AM, so nobody has to actually wake up the dorm.
She’ll charge off and occasionally look back to check that you are following at a mere few paces behind.
VIOLET
I’m here.
FRANK
Petulantly chewing my gum.
[LAUGHTER FROM PLAYERS]
SASHA
You’re going to make a couple of, like, pointed chews in her direction.
FRANK
Yep!
SASHA
Fair. She doesn’t really react.
She’s going to lead you up the steps, through the double swing doors, and down the wooden corridor to Millie’s office.
Millie is – I think we described her last time as a sort of lumberjack Rosie the Riveter. She has very imposing presence. She’s rather large with bright red hair and freckles, and always, always wears a checked shirt and some kind of outerwear gear, whether that is dungarees or, like, a canvas jacket. Or even a waiter’s wellington boots. And as you walk in, she is there, er, polishing her crossbow.
[LOWRI LAUGHS]
She puts it down as you enter, and says,
MILLIE
Ah, Violet! What is it this time?
VIOLET
I don’t know, I didn’t even do anything!
SASHA
Stevie pipes in.
[STEVIE LETS OUT A LONG-SUFFERING SIGH]
STEVIE
She’s been scratching up the walls, Millie.
VIOLET
I did a couple of accidental scratches, because I was investigating.
SASHA
Millie will gesture to Stevie and say,
MILLIE
Ah, thank you so much, I’ll take it from here.
SASHA
And she – I would rather do something with Millie’s voice to like, differentiate her from Stevie a little bit. We’ll see what comes out in a second.
[A FEW SNICKERS]
So, she will gesture to one of the chairs in front of her desk
MILLIE
Can I ask you to sit down?
[A CHAIR SCRAPES BACK]
So. Tell me about this investigating you’ve been doing.
VIOLET
Well, something scratched up all the paint last night, right, and I was just wondering how. Cos I checked with my hands, and my hand couldn’t do it, so I thought maybe they did it with a stick. And I’m not sure, I don’t think it was a stick, but maybe it was. It’s inconclusive.
MILLIE
So, you tried scratching it with your hands, and that didn’t work, so then you tried scratching it with a stick, and that did work, I assume…
VIOLET
Yes.
MILLIE
Since you managed to scratch up the buildings.
VIOLET
I mean, it sounds bad when you put it like that.
SASHA
She leans back in her big chair and puts her heavy Doc Marten boots up on the table.
MILLIE
If the sticks worked, tell me: what makes you unsure that it was done by a stick?
VIOLET
I managed to make some scratch marks, but I don’t think they’re the same?
MILLIE
We know that the sticks you used were not what made the original scratch marks.
VIOLET
Yes. I think.
MILLIE
Well, that’s a good start. What about the rest of the damage?
VIOLET
I don’t know. It looks like something came in and started throwing stuff about, and I… don’t know what it was, or why… I mean, who would want to attack the camp? Who would want to mess up the camp?
MILLIE
(eyebrow raise) Oh, you think this was an attack.
VIOLET
No… maybe. Noooo.
[SNICKERS FROM PLAYERS]
VIOLET
That would be silly.
MILLIE
Would it be silly?
VIOLET
(echoing) Would it be silly? Are we – (slight incredulous laughing) are we in danger, Millie?
MILLIE
Oh, don’t worry. Everything’s perfectly safe at Camp Flying Moose. Well – everything is safe as is appropriate for teens at Camp Flying Moose.
VIOLET
That’s a relief, because I am a teen.
[ANNIE AND LOWRI START CACKLING]
LOWRI
I was getting such strong – is it that meme of that woman trying the… is it kombucha? I’ve never actually said that word out loud.
[MORE CACKLING]
“Ooh! No. But… hm…”
MILLIE
You have decided that it was an attack, on the camp. But was anybody in the camp actually hurt?
VIOLET
No… it probably wasn’t an attack. I don’t know, maybe some animals got in? Or… someone was just messing about?
MILLIE
Well, I’m sure you’ll find out what it is, eventually. Just make sure that you don’t go damaging any more property during your investigations.
VIOLET
Yeah. I will definitely not damage anything.
MILLIE
I’m glad to hear it. Alright, well, uh… see you soon.
SASHA
And she just picks up her crossbow and starts polishing it again.
VIOLET
(to themself) Oh God, I hope not.
[PLAYERS SNICKER]
(calling) Bye!
SASHA
She doesn’t look up. She’s busy with her crossbow.
FRANK
Ah, okay. Yep.
SASHA
Will you be joining the rest of the group in the breakfast hall, or are you going to be conducting some further investigations, or doing something completely different?
FRANK
Er, yeah. I’m going to rush right back to the hall, I’m going to call Stevie a snitch on my way.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, I’m just going to rush right in…
[SOUNDS OF PEOPLE CHATTERING FADE IN]
And throw myself down in the nearest seat to, uh… Ivy, I think, because Ivy was the most interested in what was going on. And just be like,
VIOLET
Stevie just took me to Millie.
ROWAN
(gasps) (genuinely worried) Oh my gosh, again? Isn’t that the fourth time?! You really need to start being careful, Violet!
VIOLET
I was looking at what was going on outside, and Stevie was like, “You can’t do that,” and took me to Millie.
ROWAN
Wow!
IVY
Did you find anything out, at least?
VIOLET
It wasn’t hands.
IVY
Okay.
VIOLET
That’s all I got.
ROWAN
I can’t believe Stevie acted in such a, a strange way! Everyone’s acting so strangely! You were just out there and she just took you to Millie, that’s –
VIOLET
Yeah! Well, I mean, that’s classic Stevie, right. I mean, she’s such a snitch now that she’s a grown-up.
ROWAN
Oh. (conflicted) Well, you know, I-I think she’s doing quite a good job, but – anyway. Um, I was wondering…
LOWRI
GM, is this an occasion that I could do one of my special moves, which is Total Recall, cos I’m wondering if like – I know that we’re used to there being spooky noises around the camp.
SASHA
Yeah.
LOWRI
One of my special moves is Total Recall, when you try to remember Camp Flying Moose lore. Ask the Counselor one or two questions.
SASHA
I am the Counselor.
LOWRI
You are the Counselor.
SASHA
Yeah, the GM is the Counselor. I both play the camp counselors as NPCs, and I am also capital-C Camp Counselor.
LOWRI
Gotcha. Cos I was just wondering if maybe… because I know the camp so well, if I have something in my memory – maybe I’ve read something about spooky happenings of a similar kind, something like that?
SASHA
Yeah, okay. Do you want to roll your Smarts?
LOWRI
Yeah.
[DICE ROLLS]
12!
SASHA
Ooh, very good. Okay, you get to ask two questions, and I must answer honestly. So the example questions that are given in the game are, “What local stories are there about this?” “Is there any lore about this that you find in different cultures?” and “What is one fact that a story about this gets wrong?”
LOWRI
Oh, interesting.
SASHA
You can ask different but similar questions, if you like.
LOWRI
I would like to ask: is there any lore about the damage being done in the night? Like this kind of thing, has this happened before at camp?
SASHA
There isn’t lore about specifically the camp getting messed up in the way that it has been – like specifically like it has done today, but there certainly is lore about some damage being done to the camp overnight or occasionally campers waking up and something’s a-missing, not where they were, you know. So certain sports equipment, say, might be taken out of its little cupboard and dragged around the place, you know.
But, yeah. Some damage or mess happening? Definitely is something that campers tell stories about having happened once upon a time.
LOWRI
Okay. I would like to ask: where would be a good place for us to continue our investigations, to find out what’s going on?
SASHA
Ooh, that is a good question. Okay, I think the best place for you to go to continue your investigations… I’m going to give you two options. You can either try to convince one or more camp counselors that it would be a really great idea for you to spend the night at the cabin on Mount Upright, to keep a watch during the next night, or you can check for any changes to scheduled timetable stuff.
LOWRI
Well I mean…
[ANNIE STARTS LAUGHING]
Obviously…
[ANNIE CACKLES]
SASHA
So there’s a big notice board in – there’ll be like, a common room, and it’s got little shelves of books and it’s got some board games, and loads of old saggy sofas and wooden chairs that are very chipped and kind of wobbly. And it’s basically like, when it’s really raining, people tend to pack in here and maybe watch an old video – and it is a video, not a DVD – and, um, play some board games.
So that’s the common room, there’ll be, like, a big notice board up on the wall there.
LOWRI
Rowan is going to say to Ivy and Violet,
ROWAN
Right. I mean – this is all very weird, and like, I know that – (frustrated exhale) Maybe not exactly this has happened before, but like, stuff like this has definitely happened before at camp. I’ve heard the stories, I’ve been here a long time. I don’t know if, Ivy, like, you haven’t been here that long, maybe you haven’t heard them, but like, sometimes things go missing, things get moved.
But let’s face it, what’s really important here is – what does our day now look like? So I’m gonna go to the timetable, just to the board, just to see if our timetable has been updated. Like – and – would you come with me? Cos honestly, I’m a bit freaked out by how everyone’s behaving.
IVY
Yeah, I’m gonna be honest with you, I’m a lot more concerned by whatever’s happening inside right now than whatever was going on out there. Cos I mean, we’re in the woods, it could have been a wild animal, but this is – oh. Oh yeah, Violet, have you noticed –
VIOLET
What’s up with this?
IVY
(lowering her voice) So, they’ve almost forgot they were friends with each other? We asked Cassie about Ruth, and she acted like she didn’t know she – like, it was weird. Very, very spooky, dude.
ROWAN
She took the friendship bracelet off. That Ruth gave her yesterday.
VIOLET
But Ruth gave it to her yesterday!
IVY
Yesterday!
ROWAN
(simultaneously) I know, right?!
VIOLET
(lost) What the hell?
ROWAN
I – that’s quite a quick turn-around!
IVY
No matter what we should get outside of this dining hall and see if we can – cos we need to fix this.
ROWAN
It’s very sunny today so there won’t be anyone in the communal area, so let’s just – go to the board so we can see what the plan for the day is, and we can talk in private there, okay?
VIOLET
Okay.
IVY
(simultaneously) Okay. Let’s go.
ROWAN
Cool. Cool. Let’s go – act normal. Act normal.
(normal volume) Sup, Cassie.
[EVERYONE SNICKERS]
SASHA
It’s such a shame that podcast listeners can’t see this little, like, casual “I’m so cool” head nod Lowri did when she was like, “Sup, Cassie.”
LOWRI
Ahhhh. Wasted.
FRANK
I particularly enjoyed the way we were all like, “What? Cassie and Ruth aren’t friends anymore?” like, a foot away from Cassie –
[SNICKERS ESCALATE TO CACKLING]
ANNIE
Yeah, we all leaned into the mic –
SASHA
From Cassie.
LOWRI
We were whispering!
ANNIE
I think that Ivy, before standing up, is going to grab two of the last pieces of bacon that are on her plate and just shove them full in her mouth as she’s walking out the door.
IVY
(calling back) See you later!
SASHA
Yep.
LOWRI
(overlapping) Good call, good call.
SASHA
Leave no snack behind.
ANNIE
Exactly.
SASHA
Okay, so you all head out. You cross over the camp.
[THE CRICKETS ONCE AGAIN START CHIRPING AS THE NOISES OF PEOPLE CHATTING FADE AWAY]
Rowan knows the shortcut over to the common room –
LOWRI
Oh, I do!
SASHA
You can get there – it is pretty empty, there’s one or two people in there who maybe didn’t want to do any of the activities, or, um, more introverted and like to just sit there reading a book. But there is the big notice board on one wall. It’s full of, like, flyers… it was once one big timetable but it’s just been piled high with flyers.
You can see that the thing that was – so there’s always a couple of different activities to choose from, but one that has the most sign-ups for this morning was… there was gonna be a huge orienteering nature activity around the camp grounds?
LOWRI
Mm!
SASHA
But that can’t happen now, so that’s been cancelled. And there is a flyer, or like, a piece of paper, printed out on the notice board to say that in lieu of the orienteering nature activity that was scheduled for this morning, there is going to be a “treat” – something even better – tomorrow night, which will be a full moon foraging trail.
[PLAYERS MAKE INTRIGUED NOISES]
So you’ll be taken into the forest to forage for nighttime foods, and because it’s full moon, that’s going to be actually possible cos any other night it’ll be too dark.
ROWAN(?)
That sounds pretty cool, I guess we’ll be able to actually stay up a little bit later than bedtime.
ANNIE
Ivy probably had her name either first on, or near first on, the list to sign up for that original orienteering activity. And so even the foraging activity sounds cool, she’s kind of like,
IVY
(disappointed) Aw! Well what am I going to do today, then? Look at the – (sighs) the whole camp – I guess that gives me more time to investigate. But it was going to be such fun! The trail walk…
SASHA
So, that’s a good question. Violet and Rowan, were you signed up to the trail walk, or would you like to hear what other activities are available today?
LOWRI
I would like to hear the other activities.
SASHA
So, the other things that you can do today are: a macramé workshop, where you will be learning to make political wall hangings…
LOWRI
Ooh!
SASHA
…with, you know, revolutionary symbols made out of knots.
[LAUGHTER]
Or, alternatively, down by Frog Lake, there will be a… like, a little kayaking lesson, essentially.
LOWRI
Mm.
SASHA
Get to take the kayaks out.
FRANK
I think Violet was signed up for the trail walk, cos they like to climb.
LOWRI
I think actually Rowan would have been on the orienteering one as well, because Rowan is not very good at naturally surviving in the wild and relies very much on knowledge, so would have considered that an opportunity to learn to survive a bit better?
SASHA
Oh, yeah, there was going to be all sorts of tutorials about how to use maps… They were going to set up different levels of trail, you know, like when you go to a climbing wall and the different colors are the different difficulties of groups?
LOWRI
Yes!
ANNIE
Yes.
SASHA
They were going to do that all around the park. They were going to give you a grade.
LOWRI
(gasps) What! Would we have got a badge?
SASHA
Yes.
IVY
(disappointed) Ugh!
ROWAN
Man, I don’t have an orienteering badge! (inhales, exhales) Do you think we can like, convince them? To maybe, you know, just go on a walk somewhere? Like – I don’t know, like, if you want to keep investigating I seem to remember in the depths of my memory that… the cabin, you know, the cabin on Mount Upright…
IVY/VIOLET
Mhm.
ROWAN
I don’t know! I feel like that has something to do with this.
[SNICKERING]
SASHA
Really good reason, Lowri, well done.
ROWAN
It was in a book I read.
IVY
I think we need to use the daylight that we have to investigate down here. But… maybe we can talk to Stevie about going up there for the night? I mean, we’re using the whole cabin, there’s just the three of us.
ROWAN
I guess we would need permission. I’m not sure how comfortable I am with not having permission, but…
IVY
Or – Violet, do you know a way into that cabin if we, if we were to sneak off? Cos we don’t have a key.
VIOLET
I could find the way in, probably. I’ve got these lockpicks.
IVY
Have you ever picked a lock?
ROWAN
Yeah, I haven’t seen you in action yet! That would be really cool.
VIOLET
(lying through her teeth) Yeah! It’d be so cool.
LOWRI
(snickering) Shifts nervously.
[LAUGHTER]
IVY
In that case why don’t we – let’s look around the camp a little more, because I think that if there’s something we can do to solve it down here… we’ve got the morning free now, it’s nearly afternoon.
ROWAN
Okay. Sure.
ANNIE
So I think that Ivy (inaudible) kind of trying to pick up what Violet left off outside? In terms of… The only thing that Violet managed to get to before being snitched on was –
[OUTBURST OF SNICKERING]
That it wasn’t hands. And that, “Stick? Uhhh…” So – and that’s just the scratches, I want to look at the damage to the fence… whatever there is to look at, effectively.
SASHA
Would you like to roll for me Investigate, which is 2D6 plus your Smarts.
[DICE ROLLS]
ANNIE
(blows out a breath) That’s a five.
SASHA
Ah, okay. Yeah, you can have a look. You see the broken-down fences, you see it kind of – almost like tire marks in the ground? You know, like the dirt track. Looks like there was some heavy traffic here. If you had to guess, you’d say this was, like, some sort of go-kart race or tiny monster truck rally.
In fact, how much does Ivy believe the kind of stories that you get around Camp Flying Moose, about unusual creatures that live in the forest or in the lake, or supernatural things that happen around here?
ANNIE
I think that Ivy believes, to a naive fault, in stuff. You could tell her pretty much any ghost story about the campus and she’s gonna be like, (gasps) “Really? Wait, wait, wait, tell me what – did this–!” You know.
SASHA
Yeah.
ANNIE
Way too involved and interested in all of it.
SASHA
This is basically – a fae monster truck rally clearly happened here.
[LOWRI GASPS]
IVY
(frantic whisper) Check this out! Guys, come over here, come over here, look at this, look at this!
VIOLET
What?
ROWAN
(simultaneously) What, what, what?
IVY
Haven’t you heard about the stories – okay, okay, okay. You know those, the mushroom rings, they grow in the forest, right? They call them faerie rings.
ROWAN
Yeah.
VIOLET
(simultaneously) Uh-huh.
IVY
Look at this! There’s tiny tracks… there’s tiny tracks. Do you think the faeries – do you think they have cars?
[ROWAN EXHALES A STARTLED LAUGH]
VIOLET
Do I…
ROWAN
Faerie cars?
VIOLET
…do I think the faeries have cars.
IVY
Look at the ground!
[ROWAN LAUGHS AGAIN]
IVY
I’m not crazy here, right?
ROWAN
I mean…
IVY
You’ve heard the stories, right?
ROWAN
I’ve heard the stories, but faeries – but I’ve never heard them having automobiles! Like, that’s quite a… weird thing?
IVY
I haven’t necessarily heard any specific stories about that either, but look at the tracks. Look at what the evidence in front of us is. And you know the stories that they’re out there.
VIOLET
What evidence? These are lines in the dust!
[THE PLAYERS SNICKER]
IVY
They’re tire tracks! Look!
LOWRI
I should have asked if I could, like, through the Power of Friendship, have helped Ivy with their Investigation roll, but can I just do my own Investigation? Is that…
SASHA
You can do an Investigation roll, yes.
[PLAYERS SNICKER SOME MORE]
ANNIE
Can I Power-of-Friendship that one to assist?
SASHA
I’m gonna say no, because at this point Ivy is not gonna be helpful in investigating these things!
ANNIE
Fair enough.
SASHA
(snickering) She’s going to continue telling people that it’s a faerie monster truck situation.
ANNIE
(snickering) I could roll to see how far off I threw her, yeah.
[DICE ROLLS]
LOWRI
I rolled a 6 and a 1, that’s so annoying. Er, 9.
SASHA
9. Okay! Yes, so that’s still a success, but not a runaway success.
So I’m gonna say you may ask one question. Or, you may choose for me to give you one detail of my own choosing.
LOWRI
Mm… (softly) What’s going on?! (laughs)
SASHA
That I promise will be at least a mildly relevant detail.
[PLAYERS CACKLE]
LOWRI
“Mildly relevant.” I mean, I think my odds… I’m not very good at asking questions, so I am inclined to take that hand of friendship that you’ve extended me there and ask you to give me a mildly relevant detail, please.
SASHA
Okay. I will give you a mildly relevant detail. You’re really intrigued by this faerie automobile theory?
[ANNIE SNICKERS]
It sounds very new to you, and you’re curious – but you’re open-minded, so you curiously look down at the grooves in the ground, and you’re like, “Yeah, there are tracks in the ground.” But if you look closely, you can see that there are several large pawprints.
LOWRI
Miniature tire tracks… and pawprints.
SASHA
Mm, no, not like miniature tire – there’re like, grooves in the ground that don’t have a tire pattern.
LOWRI
Right.
SASHA
And then there are also some pawprints.
LOWRI
Are they like, long, continuous grooves?
SASHA
No, they’re not, like, long, continuous grooves.
FRANK
Like something that’s just gouged at the…
SASHA
Yeah.
LOWRI
Or has a tail…? No, that would be up in the air, maybe.
I… tell you that –
ROWAN
My friends… I mean, there are pawprints here.
VIOLET
Huh.
ANNIE
Can I ask – are they unnaturally large pawprints or anything like that, or do they just look like a normal canine that you might find?
SASHA
Once they are pointed out to you, they are about the size of a bear’s pawprint?
ANNIE
Ohhh.
SASHA
But not exactly that shape, like, not as round, a little bit more splayed out, a little bit, like, longer in the – what would be, I guess, fingers? No, toes.
[GROUP LAUGHTER]
SASHA
Toes is a thing. Yeah.
FRANK
Violet is gonna… climb a tree –
SASHA
Always a good (inaudible)
FRANK
Yep. Great start.
LOWRI
Yeah!
FRANK
Just to try and look down at everything. If I could roll Investigate on that to see if maybe there’s, like, a pattern to the movement? I don’t know.
SASHA
Okay. Yeah. Roll Investigate.
[DICE ROLLS]
FRANK
Okay, bad start.
[DICE ROLLS AGAIN]
FRANK
Okay, so I got an 8.
SASHA
Okay! Yeah. So that’s again a mitigated success. I’m gonna give you the same choice that I gave Lowri. You can either ask a question, or be given one at least mildly relevant detail of my own choosing.
FRANK
Well, since Rowan pointed out that there were pawprints, I guess I want to see, like, how much of, like… where did they come from, where did they go, Cotton-Eyed Joe.
[SNICKERING]
FRANK
Or, like, if there was a pattern to the way they were moving, or something like that.
SASHA
There is no pattern. It is very, very chaotic. You would guess that there is, like, more than one creature here?
FRANK
Mm.
SASHA
So it’s very difficult to see, kind of where they came from or where they went, but there are at least some tracks that are either coming from, or going towards, or maybe both, the forest.
Not actually all just to, like, one place in the forest.
FRANK
Alright. I’ll come back down and sort of yelling from the tree, I guess.
VIOLET
Guys, I think whatever this is, I think there was more than one.
[ROWAN GASPS]
VIOLET
Uhm, I think maybe they came from the forest? Or they went to the forest? Or maybe they went to the forest and, like, came back. I don’t know.
ROWAN
Do you think that’s why orientation has been cancelled? Do you think they know? As in, the camp counselors?
VIOLET
Maybe. I accidentally said “attack” when I was speaking to Millie, and she really latched onto that.
Maybe they know something.
IVY
Do you think that they’re lying to us about something? Do you think they’re trying to hide something?
VIOLET
I mean, they’re always hiding stuff.
ROWAN
Surely it’s usually stuff that is, you know, for our own good!
IVY
They would tell me, at least… I think.
VIOLET
Oh, you think that. You think that. It’s, it’s like, they get a driver’s licence, and all of a sudden, “Oh, I can keep secrets now from my good friend Violet!”
SASHA
I’m really interested in what exactly went down between Violet and Stevie.
[LAUGHTER]
SASHA
Like, were they really close before Stevie became a counselor? Is this maybe, like, Stevie’s first year as a counselor?
FRANK
I think I started to lean into this, like, Violet is like a proto-Stevie, like, as soon as she’s older she’s also going to be grouchy and over it. And right now she’s like, “Why are you like this? How dare you, I’m over you, how about that!”
[MORE LAUGHTER]
SASHA
You have a couple of options here. You can go to the counselors and you can either kind of confront them about whether they know more than they’re letting on –
LOWRI
Mm.
SASHA
Or you can try to gain permission to go on your little trip to the cabin in Mt. Upright, or you can choose to bide your time and sneak out to Mt. Upright, or you can go and talk to some of the other girls at the camp, investigate a little bit more around the camp area.
Or you can do something that I haven’t thought of! Of your own design!
[A FEW SNICKERS]
LOWRI
I do have a cousin who’s a counselor, who is my best friend.
ANNIE
That’s true.
I think that Ivy is feeling betrayed by not being, like, I don’t know, just like, kept in the loop or, like, the idea that the counselors are lying to us?
LOWRI
Hmm.
ANNIE
Cos again, she has this inflated sense of friendship with everybody. I think that she is going to just, like, silent-treatment the counselors and go talk to some of the other girls.
[A SHORT PAUSE]
FRANK
Oh no. I broke her.
SASHA
Silent-treatment the counselors!
[LOWRI LAUGHS, HORRIFIED]
ANNIE
Like, any time Stevie is like, trying to do something with our cabin or whatever, I’ll just be like, “Mrrrh. Errrh.” Not, like, say words, but – just be mad, you know what I mean?
SASHA
Yeah. Oh, I hope they notice!
LOWRI
(snickering) Yeah!
SASHA
Okay, so you’re going to talk to some of the other girls. What about Violet and Rowan?
LOWRI
I mean, I might go and talk to my cousin? Who is my best friend. I might not say that in front of Ivy, I don’t know.
[LAUGHTER]
LOWRI
See – just see how my cousin’s behaving. Cos if she’s behaving weirdly as well… she also works in the library, so I guess I’ll do a bit more research into…
Cos for Rowan, something is being triggered now that is like – Well, I know that there have been stories of weird things like this happening, and now we’re looking like these big animals were fighting in camp? And the counselors aren’t being honest with us about it? So that’s a bit weird.
SASHA
Okay. And Violet?
FRANK
I think Violet is going to sneak up to the cabin on the hill and try and find a way in before anyone else – (laughing) asks her to pick the lock.
[SNICKERING]
SASHA
Just to try to save face.
Are you telling your friends that you’re going there now, or are you just gonna try and sneak out and not give them a chance to come with you?
FRANK
I’m just gonna sneak off. That’s what she does.
[ANNIE CACKLES]
SASHA
Okay.
LOWRI
I mean, Rowan will definitely have been like,
ROWAN
Look. Yeah, let’s split up to, you know, increase our chances of finding things out, but let’s meet up again.
LOWRI
So they definitely sent their meet up, I guess, where we are? Or…
I mean, you don’t have to do that, obviously, Violet.
[SNICKERS]
But maybe arrange to meet up just after dinner? I don’t know. Or in an hour.
FRANK
If we meet for dinner we can see if everyone’s still acting – weird, in there.
ANNIE
Yeah. I agree. And then I think that if we’re trying to devise a plan to sneak off to the cabin, then it would be like, “meet in the outdoor showers.” Cos no one ever uses them. Meet at the outdoor showers, there’s like five people who use them –
[AGREEING NOISES]
Meet at the outdoor showers and we can sneak out from there so no one will see us.
FRANK & LOWRI
Yeah.
SASHA
Okay. Let’s start with Rowan, going to the camp counselors. So, you are going to go and find your cousin, Willow. Willow works in the library.
LOWRI
Mhm.
SASHA
I assume that you’re going to go to the library.
LOWRI
Yes!
SASHA
Would you like to describe for us, like, what kind of library Flying Moose has? Is it, like, a well-stocked, well-catalogued library with shelves full of categorized books by subject and by author, or is it like, a bundle of boxes full of just paperback books shoved every which way?
LOWRI
I think it’s somewhere in between? Like, I’m imagining a room with just short bookcases in, not, like, beautiful, lots of books up to the ceilings or anything.
SASHA
Yeah.
LOWRI
And a collection of a random – probably Baby-Sitters Club, Point Horror books, that kind of thing, that have been ripped and maybe the last pages are missing on some of them. But I would like there to conveniently be a section on, like, the history of Camp Flying Moose!
SASHA
Oh, there is definitely a – yeah. There are some fiction that you would expect to see, and then there’s also very anachronistic, perhaps, nonfiction section, a lot of which is about nature?
LOWRI
Yeah. Mm.
SASHA
And some of which is about, you know, puberty and your body…
LOWRI
Yes.
SASHA
And appropriate sex education. There’s like, “here are the facts” –
LOWRI
Good.
SASHA
– “in a nonjudgmental way.” And then there’s some texts on, like, the history of feminism and civil rights movements. And then there’s also an extensive section about folklore and local history.
LOWRI
Sounds like a great library, frankly.
SASHA
I really want to go to this camp now.
ANNIE
I know!
LOWRI
Yeah, me too!
Rowan will go straight to Willow, to try and find Willow.
SASHA
She is, she’s stacking books –
LOWRI
Cool.
SASHA
– that have been moved. She’s just, like, reshelving everything.
ROWAN
Hey Will! How’re you doing?
WILLOW
Hey Rowan! How’s it going?
ROWAN
I mean – have you noticed that things are a bit weird? Like, you know what’s going on?
WILLOW
Oh, you mean with, um… all the damage to the camp?
ROWAN
Yeah!
WILLOW
No, I don’t know, but it’s a real shame! Were you booked onto that orienteering?
ROWAN
Yeah. I’m really disappointed cos I know I didn’t have the badge, it was like, my last badge that I needed for, like, survival, but…
WILLOW
Well, there’s always next year.
ROWAN
Yeah… Well, you know, I was kind of hoping that I would graduate to counselor next year, as you know, and – (exhales) a year earlier than people normally do, but I am an overachiever.
[PLAYERS SNICKER]
LOWRI
What I’m trying to ascertain here is, is my cousin behaving weirdly? Is she part of the weird counselor weirdness, and all the weirdness that’s happening in camp?
SASHA
Okay, I’m going to offer you the chance to roll Investigate or Friendship.
LOWRI
I’m going to go for… (doubtfully) Friendship… even though my stat isn’t as good. Because this is my best friend and cousin.
SASHA
Yeah.
[DICE ROLLS]
LOWRI
Oh for goodness sake. 8.
SASHA
Okay, no, that’s still pretty good. Okay, so for an 8… do you want to roleplay a bit of the, like, how you’re going to approach it?
LOWRI
Yeah! I mean, I’m gonna ask her as I was about… is she’s aware what’s going on, and does she know why orienteering has been cancelled or what the counselors think happened.
SASHA
Yeah.
LOWRI
Yeah, so yeah.
WILLOW
I don’t know why, I mean – obviously I know that it’s been cancelled because – (sighs) well, the camp’s all… kind of messed up and a lot of the markers that they put out have been knocked down, or lost.
ROWAN
Ohhh, right!
WILLOW
I don’t know exactly what happened. I know that Millie said someone was looking into it, so… I think that she’s probably got a team of the other counselors, you know, figuring out what’s going on.
ROWAN
Okay. Have we got any books about that cabin on Mt. Upright?
WILLOW
We don’t really have any books about it – I’ve got a promotional leaflet for you?
ROWAN
Yeah, that would be a start?
[PLAYERS SNICKER]
ROWAN
I’m quicker to read.
WILLOW
Why, is, uh, is Stevie going to take Redwood Cabin up?
ROWAN
Yeah! Maybe she is. – I heard that.
[ANNIE SNICKERS SOME MORE]
WILLOW
Oh! That’ll be fun for you, yeah.
LOWRI
Rowan’s a good liar.
WILLOW
She doesn’t like to say it, but I know Stevie really loves going to the cabin on Mt. Upright, so.
ROWAN
Oh really! How do you know that?
WILLOW
Yeah, cos, uh, we’re friends.
ROWAN
Cool.
LOWRI
Just for Lowri, Willow isn’t behaving weirdly, is she?
SASHA
No.
LOWRI
Cool.
SASHA
She’s not behaving weirdly.
LOWRI
So my cousin is fine. Fine. Good.
[ANNIE LAUGHS]
LOWRI
I take the leaflet!
FRANK
“Oh! You’re friends!” Like you’re jealous.
SASHA
You take the leaflet. It won’t really give you any information that Rowan doesn’t already know.
LOWRI
Mmkay.
SASHA
It tells you about the layout of the cabin, what’s inside the facilities there – not many, the location of the cabin… it has this little, like, picture-gram mapped-out-path, but it’s not really useful as a map.
LOWRI
Mm.
SASHA
You know, it’s just one of those little lines tell us straight that you’re going to be walking through the forest.
[LOWRI SNORTS]
SASHA
And has some photos of girls from the camp posing all around a campfire or roasting marshmallows or bundled into their sleeping bags in the cabin or doing their little washing-up, you know… It’s not really got anything about the lore of the place or the history thereof.
Let’s head over to Violet, who was going to making that trek to the cabin. Frank.
FRANK
Yes.
SASHA
What is Violet going to do to prepare for the journey?
FRANK
She has a bottle of water and an upbeat attitude!
[PLAYERS CACKLE]
She’s giving herself a pep talk the whole way, they’re just like,
VIOLET
(to themself) Alright, come on, Violet. You’ve got this. You can do it. Remember last year when you snuck into Stephanie’s suitcase and no one realised for like, two hours? Come on. You can get into a cabin!
SASHA
Okay. So the cabin is like, a four or five-mile hike away from the camp. And it is currently – well, it’s not even lunchtime yet. Maybe it’s like, 11 am. So there’s plenty of daylight, but you will have to trek through the forest.
You have been to the cabin before, but you have always been led by a counselor or a couple of counselors, you know, all in a group.
So I’m going to make a little roll about the state of the path…
[DICE ROLLS]
So you set out. Are you the one that’s got “quick but quiet”?
FRANK
Yes.
SASHA
Yes. Okay. So you can move very stealthily through the camp. You can absolutely sneak your way out, although you have to, like, hide around some corners and move between shadows a little bit? You do actually manage to make it out. And you do manage to find the path that leads – it’s almost like a bridge, but not over any water, just over a slight ditch – into the forest, that leads you on the path. Which has kind of, like – the first couple of miles of it is like a roped path, you know, with kind of wood slats to lead the way.
FRANK
Right.
SASHA
It’s pretty dark in the forest, because it’s obviously quite dense, but because it’s noon there’s plenty of light poking through the trees. So you make your way, you make your way. After about a mile or two, the wooden slats get buried by the ground. Dust has been kicked over, roots have grown up and cracked them. But you can still make your way.
About a mile after that, you come to a fork in the road. And the path looks a little different than you remember it.
FRANK
(pause) Oh.
[PLAYERS SNICKER]
LOWRI
Uh-oh!
SASHA
Would you like to go left or right?
[FRANK EXHALES CONSIDERINGLY]
FRANK
Is it left or right?
[DICE ROLLS]
FRANK
Left it is.
SASHA
Okay. You turn left and you keep walking. The path grows narrower and narrower. The trees grow a little bit denser. They’re very tall now, so you can’t even really make out the individual leaves in the top of the tree, so you’re just kind of – looking up at this broken shadow of canopy above you.
There are a lot of birds up about; you can’t see them but you can definitely hear them. And you can certainly see a lot of spiders or bugs creeping around in the foliage. And after about another hour of walking – and it’s getting quite steep, so you’re getting quite out of breath. You notice the ground starts to level off and you find some little wooden steps built into the path, leading right up to the old cabin.
ANNIE
Ayyyy.
LOWRI
Ayyyyyyyyy!
VIOLET
(to herself) I did it! I made it!
Oh god, now I have to get in.
[PLAYERS SNICKER]
VIOLET
Okay.
SASHA
Okay, so you have lockpicks. And the cabin is there, it has a small lock on the door. You know that inside there is a cupboard of, like, some supplies. There is a very rudimentary bathroom area to one side. And then there’s a whole sort of space with some – well, I would say bunk beds but they’re really just slats. And some space for people to, like, hang out in the middle, and sometimes people put their bedrolls out and sleep on the floor as well. And there’s like, a stove, that’s basically more of a woodfire in there as well.
There are two windows – two big windows, one on two walls of the big main room. And there’s a very small vent and window towards the bathroom section.
FRANK
Do any of the windows open / can I open any of the windows?
SASHA
The windows do open. How are you trying to open them?
FRANK
I guess it would be absurd for them to have handles on the outside.
[LOWRI LAUGHS]
FRANK
So I’m going to try pushing…?
SASHA
Yeah! Great. Could you please roll me Adrenaline, which is roll 2D6 and add your Strength.
[DICE ROLLS]
FRANK
7.
SASHA
Okay! So you take one of the windows which, it looks like the wood is a bit degraded by now, and you push and push and push it up.
[SFX: WOOD GROANS AS IT IS SHOVED UPWARDS]
And eventually you do manage to push it a little ways up, and then it gets stuck again.
So there is an opening. But it is not big enough for you to fit through.
FRANK
Okay.
SASHA
And I think, let’s leave Violet there, and check in with Ivy –
[PLAYERS SNICKER]
– for a little bit. So Ivy has gone to talk to some of the other girls.
ANNIE
Yeah.
SASHA
Is there a particular place that you would like to go, Annie? So we said there was a kayaking session, there is macramé in the arts and crafts room. There are a couple of people hanging out in the Common Room, but most people who were going to be orienteering seem to have just kind of found their own other activities, either joining in with the kayaking or with the arts and crafts or… there’s a couple of people in the library, and there is a very quick and impromptu game of dodgeball going on on the field.
ANNIE
(snickers) She’s tempted by the dodgeball.
[PLAYERS LAUGH]
ANNIE
My intention with it was to try and talk to Ruth, because that was the other half of the friendship bracelet exchange to which we have not spoken yet. I want to see if Ruth is under sort of the same… whatever effect that we noticed Cassie being weird, if Ruth is also being weird in the same way.
SASHA
Okay!
ANNIE
Can I – maybe go to the meeting hall and check the sign-ups, did I see where Ruth was signed up before, or do I know where to find her?
SASHA
Yeah, you can go and check. So Ruth is going to be in arts and crafts.
ANNIE
Okay. Well, then that’s where Ivy’s headed. Not a place that she is often.
SASHA
Okay. You walk into the arts and crafts room, and the counselor who’s running the arts and crafts session looks up. She’s not one of them that you recognize, because you don’t spend a lot of time in here, but…
ANNIE
Mhm.
SASHA
…she is delighted by a new face in the arts and crafts room. Just like,
ARTS AND CRAFTS COUNSELOR
Oh! Well you’re quite late, but come up! Were you, er, were you involved in the orienteering? Don’t worry, we can get you a space. Why don’t you sit down right here.
SASHA
And she’ll pull out a chair –
[SFX: CHAIR SCRAPES ON GROUND]
– right next to Ruth.
ANNIE
Oh, that’s convenient.
IVY
Sure! I’m afraid I’m, uh, really not that good at arts and crafts, but you know what, I’m not doing anything else with my day today, so, I’ll just, I’ll sit down next to Ruth, yeah!
ARTS AND CRAFTS COUNSELOR
Okay, yeah, great! Well, you know what? We’re here for all levels. I can absolutely help you with getting started with a beginner thing. So today, we’re turning knots into revolutionary political symbols!
[LOWRI SNICKERS]
ARTS AND CRAFTS COUNSELOR
So, why don’t you have a little sketch of your revolutionary organization’s political symbol, that you would like your logo to be, or you can pick your favorite one from history. And then I’ll get you started on some of the basic knots, and, uh, you’re away!
Okay, so I’m just gonna go and get some knots and get some yarn and sticks and things for you to – (inaudible) and then I’ll be right back! Okay?
SASHA
And she will hurry off.
IVY
Okay, yeah! Yeah, sure!
ANNIE
So in that case Ivy’s gonna turn to Ruth and just try and strike up a conversation, again, doing the super casual “I don’t know anything’s wrong, why would I suspect weirdness?” type of vibe. Like,
IVY
Oh hey, Ruth! I’ve never been in the arts and crafts – you’re normally over here. Have you done these before? Cos I might need some help trying to figure out how to do these. Are you any good at them?
SASHA
She’ll respond to you in much the same way that Cassie does, so she will answer your questions but won’t kind of engage any more than – not really give anything particularly back.
RUTH
Yeah, I’m pretty good at arts and crafts. Yeah, I’m here quite a lot. I can answer your questions, but you know, Mary is probably going to teach you how to do it, so. She can help you.
IVY
Yeah, I figured, I just, you know. It’s a whole class full of people. Usually better to have help with – you know. If you can get help from somebody sitting next to you, I, I – I mean, I’m just not that good at crafting. I mean, the more help I can get the better.
SASHA
And at this point Mary will come back and put a load of yarn and strings in front of you and be like,
ARTS AND CRAFTS COUNSELOR (MARY)
So! Let me tell you exactly how to do macramé.
[PLAYERS CACKLE]
IVY
(stammering) O-o-o-okay?
ANNIE
And Ivy is very much obviously not here to try to do arts and crafts in any way, so every time Mary’s trying to do stuff, Ivy’s like,
IVY
(desperately trying to sound like she’s being attentive) Yeah yeah yeah, okay, sure sure, uh – Ruth, uh – yeah yeah yeah! Okay, yeah.
ANNIE
Like, you know. Just trying to get through it to keep the conversation going with Ruth, so.
SASHA
While Mary is there, like – as soon as Mary comes and kind of engages you, Ruth goes back to talking to the other people around this table. Who are, you will notice, a lot of the same people that were sitting with her at breakfast.
ANNIE
This is just an assumption, but I’m assuming looking around the table, I see a lot of people who were sitting on the same side that she was and I don’t see anyone who was sitting on Cassie’s side, at this table.
SASHA
You don’t see anyone who was sitting on Cassie’s side. In fact, there are some people who were sitting on Cassie’s side in this room, but they are all at a different table.
ANNIE
Right. At breakfast, was it that literally half the camp, besides us, was on one side and half was on the other?
SASHA
No. It’s not everybody –
ANNIE
Okay.
SASHA
– that was divided into two. It’s, um…
ANNIE
It’s just specific…
SASHA
It’s just some. Maybe, like, ten people on each side out of, like, a hundred total campers.
ANNIE
Got it. So I can clearly see members of each group separated in the room. And then – I think that Ivy’s gonna then try a more direct approach as soon as she gets a word in with Mary – as soon as Mary goes to check on something else, and Ivy just,
IVY
Woof, okay.
SASHA
Mary will leave as soon as you have done three competent knots.
[ANNIE GROANS]
[LAUGHTER]
ANNIE
Geez. Should I roll Crafting for that?
SASHA
Yes, actually!
[DICE ROLLS]
ANNIE
Oh! Okay, it’s an 8.
LOWRI
Ooh!
SASHA
Okay! Great! Yeah. So you do do three competent knots, but while Mary is showing you in between, like,
MARY
Okay, that’s pretty good, but do it a bit more like this…
SASHA
You actually have time to notice that Ruth is scratching her arms a lot. And you notice she’s got this little rash just on her neck and her hands.
ANNIE
Uh-oh.
SASHA
And eventually you will manage to get your three knots.
[ANNIE CACKLES]
SASHA
And Mary will leave. She’ll be so proud, she’ll be like,
MARY
That’s amazing! Absolutely fantastic! Oh, you are picking this up so quickly.
SASHA
You are not picking this up so quickly.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNIE
Of course not, yeah.
And Ivy’s aware of that, but Ivy’s also just trying to be like,
IVY
Thanks. Yeah yeah yeah, of course!
FRANK
(simultaneously) Of course.
– Not.
[BEAT]
ANNIE & LOWRI
Ayyyyyyyyyy.
[SASHA SNICKERS]
ANNIE
I think that then Ivy, as soon as she can get a word in edgewise – she was originally going to start pushing the idea of the friendship bracelet, but I think she’s going to turn to Ruth, then go,
IVY
(genuinely concerned) Oh, are – are you okay? I might even have – I know that I normally just carry snacks around, but I might have some calamine lotion or something in here? Do you – are you okay, I see that you’ve got that, that neck.
RUTH
Oh, yeah, um, calamine lotion would be nice, actually, I just – (sighs) my allergies have really been acting up recently and I don’t know why.
IVY
Okay. Okay. Let me check. Is it like, pollen allergies, or, or…
RUTH
Oh, I don’t know what it is. Usually the only thing I’m allergic to is dogs!
FRANK & ANNIE
(chorusing) Dun-dun-dun!
ANNIE
Hmmmmm. (snickers)
SASHA
So let’s leave it there for this week.
ANNIE
Excellent.
LOWRI
(overlapping) Eeeee!
SASHA
Thank you very much for listening. This has been Camp Flying Moose for Girls of All Kinds, and as I didn’t mention it at the start of the show, you can find your own copy of Camp Flying Moose by Alicia Furness on Itch. I very much recommend it. – Or, you know, elsewhere on the internet, you can also just Google “Camp Flying Moose.” It’s a really great game!
So, I have been Sasha Sienna, and with me has been Annie, Lowri, and Frank. Please join us next week for the thrilling conclusion–!
[PLAYERS CHEER]
SASHA
To Camp Flying Moose. Thank you very much for listening!
LOWRI
Where hopefully we will all reconvene!
[LAUGHTER]
ANNIE
“Hopefully.”
SASHA
Bye!
ALL
Byeeeeee!
[THE MAGNUS THEME STARTS FADING IN]
FRANK
Why are we all waving?
[EVERYONE CRACKS UP]
LOWRI
I don’t know–!
FRANK
It’s just interesting!
[CROSSTALK]
[MAGNUS THEME FULLY FADES IN]
ALEX
This episode is distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial ShareAlike 4.0 International License. For more information, visit rustyquill.com, tweet us @TheRustyQuill, visit us on Facebook, or email us at mail@rustyquill.com. Thanks for listening.