[THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES THEME – INTRO]
SASHA
Hi! Welcome to Camp Flying Moose! I am Sasha Sienna. I play Georgie Barker on The Magnus Archives – or (correcting themself) I played Georgie Barker on The Magnus Archives.
My pronouns are she, he, or they, and I am going to be your camp counselor, or GM, for today’s session of Camp Flying Moose!
So with me, I have Lowri, Frank, and Annie. Frank, who are you?
FRANK
Hi! I’m Frank, Frank Voss. I played Basira Hussain in The Magnus Archives. My pronouns are they/them, and I will be playing Violet, who I’ve on-the-spot decided is a girl in like, the way, like, if another girl was in the room and then she ran in after and kind of absorbed the essence of what was left?
[SNICKERS FROM EVERYONE]
And their pronouns are they/she.
SASHA
Thank you very much!
LOWRI
(laughing) Feeling pressured to follow that!
ANNIE
(laughing) Yeah, right?
SASHA
Okay, Lowri –
LOWRI
Hello!
SASHA
– since you said you’re feeling so pressured to follow that, would you like to follow that?
LOWRI
No, that was the correct call. Hello, I am Lowri. I was producer of The Magnus Archives from about halfway through Season 4, I also played… Celia-slash-… Lynne Hammond! I really had to reach for that name then!
[ANNIE SNICKERS]
– In Magnus. My pronouns are she/her, and I am playing Rowan, whose pronouns are also she/her, and… I am deciding on the spot is… a little bit of a nerd.
SASHA
Aw.
LOWRI
Mm.
SASHA
And Annie, who are you?
ANNIE
Hi! I’m Annie Fitch. I am one of the vocal editors for The Magnus Archives, from end of Season 4 through all of Season 5. My pronouns are she/her, and today I am going to be playing Ivy, pronouns are she/they.
I’m actually – I have to say, the mental image of Ivy is a little bit based off of my sister in real life when she was about this age. Very – kind of – intimidating to look at, got taller and wider than all the rest of her class very quick, but not a violent or threatening person at all! Just wants to be friends with everyone.
FRANK
Aw.
LOWRI
That’s nice.
SASHA
That is nice. And I think brings us onto a lovely start for this session. Camp Flying Moose is a really fantastic indie RPG designed by Alicia Furness, and if you are familiar with Lumberjanes, it’s basically powered by the apocalypse-lite Lumberjanes roleplaying game? It’s really great fun. The full name of the camp is Camp Flying Moose for Girls of All Kinds, and it’s basically if there was, like, a Gravity Falls summer camp but also there were regular social justice workshops alongside your arts and crafts.
[SNICKERS]
ANNIE
I love that.
SASHA
It’s such a good game and I really recommend it whole-heartedly.
So, what I thought we’d start with is part of character creation in this game. You’ve got your, kind of your stats and your moves, which I have assigned to you, essentially. But there’s also some really lovely bits of characterization. So I thought it would be a very nice way to introduce the various characters by asking you some details about who you are.
So Annie, let’s start with you –
ANNIE
Alright.
SASHA
– and Ivy, if that’s okay. So the first question is, how many years have you been coming to camp?
ANNIE
I think Ivy’s been coming to camp for about three years now. This is either her third or fourth year at the camp. Long enough to make it part of the routine, be something to expect, not be in a new place… but not a “veteran,” as it were.
SASHA
Mhm. Okay, and Lowri, how long has Rowan been coming to camp?
LOWRI
I think five years. She’s been coming since she was very young.
SASHA
Er, Frank, what about Violet?
FRANK
I was gonna say five years as well. I feel like – yeah, Violet’s a problem child, so her parents are just like, “Just go.”
[LAUGHTER]
“Just go for a little while. Please.”
SASHA
(snickering) Just like, “These three weeks of the year we can just get rid of you.”
LOWRI
(laughing) Oh, no…
SASHA
And Frank, what’s an item that Violet carries with her at all times?
[A SHORT PAUSE]
FRANK
Set of lockpicks. She doesn’t know how to use them. But she has them.
[MORE LAUGHTER]
SASHA
Is it the kind of thing where she’s always telling people that she knows how to use them, but actually they don’t?
FRANK
Yeah. Absolutely.
SASHA
Cool. And Annie, what about Ivy? What is an item that Ivy always has with her at all times?
ANNIE
Ivy always carries with her a sort of drawstring backpack that is full of miscellaneous snacks. Primarily graham crackers and the lot, but.
LOWRI
(admiringly) Nice.
SASHA
Nice.
LOWRI
Yeah.
SASHA
And Lowri? What about Rowan?
LOWRI
Rowan’s always got a hairtie. Because – you know? You need to get your hair out of your face at camp, if you’re going to do things properly.
FRANK
Smart kid.
SASHA
(overlapping) That’s very important, that’s true.
So Lowri, who was your best friend at camp?
[LOWRI LETS OUT A LONG, CONSIDERING BREATH]
LOWRI
Right. So I’m looking at Rowan’s stats. Rowan has plus 1 in Friendship. I think she’s friendly with everyone, but – (laughing) is it too sad for the camp counselor to be her best friend?
FRANK
Aw! Oh no!
LOWRI
That goes against the stat, doesn’t it. That goes against the stat. She’s friendly with everyone.
SASHA
Well, she can be friendly with everyone, but her best friend can still be the camp counselor.
ANNIE
That’s true.
LOWRI
(conflicted) Hm. Like – I guess that kind of implies she’s friendly with everyone, but not everyone likes her! Oh no!
FRANK
Aw!
SASHA
Or – we could always have it like, the camp counselor might be, like, her big sister. Or her slightly older cousin.
ANNIE
Mm.
SASHA
Especially if she’s been coming here for five years? Like, she might be 16, and then the camp counselor is, say, 18. They might be related, or neighbors at home, or something.
LOWRI
Mmm. Okay, yeah, counselor’s her older cousin.
SASHA
I’m going to be playing – like, the name of the GM in the game is the camp counselor. So I’m essentially going to be playing your cabin counselor. Do you want that counselor to be your best friend, or do you want it to be, like, the camp counselor who’s in charge of teaching you archery, or the camp counselor who’s in charge of feminist poetry readings, or…
LOWRI
(gasps) I quite like the idea that it’s someone that maybe we don’t necessarily meet?
SASHA
Oh, okay!
LOWRI
Unless that throws a spanner in the works for you?
SASHA
No, that’s absolutely fine. It’s such a “something to keep in the back pocket for… if we need more peril.”
LOWRI
(laughing) Oh gosh. There aren’t libraries at camp, but I’ve never been to a camp, so… maybe… I should have flagged that earlier.
FRANK
Yeah, it’s not a thing we do here, so I’m like – I’m basing this all off, like, cartoons and…
LOWRI
I mean, I think I’m basing this off the Addams Family, actually.
[FRANK CACKLES]
ANNIE
Right.
SASHA
Yeah, so my touchstones for this are very much: Lumberjanes, The Addams Family, the recent TV show The Baby-Sitters Club which I watched despite being thirty-two years of age –
[SNICKERING FROM PLAYERS]
– because I loved those books so much as a child, and similar media properties. Like, we don’t really have summer camps in the UK?
[AFFIRMING NOISES FROM PLAYERS]
I did get sent several times to Bible summer camp because my family was that kind of evangelical Christian.
LOWRI
Wow.
SASHA
But I’m going to be honest: Camp Flying Moose sounds better.
[LAUGHTER]
So, like, we didn’t have a library at that camp. It was mostly just tents and a lot of praying. (pause) No, there was some fun stuff too. They didn’t make us pray all the time. But there wasn’t a library there, but I feel like there can be a library at Camp Flying Moose.
ANNIE
Yeah!
LOWRI
Okay.
SASHA
And I will now say yes, there is.
LOWRI
Cool. My cousin has access to the books.
SASHA
Ooh.
LOWRI
We’re both kinda nerdy.
SASHA
Do you want to give your cousin a name?
LOWRI
What’s another tree that is a name?
SASHA
Willow?
LOWRI
Willow! Yeah, that’s lovely.
SASHA
Frank, who is Violet’s best friend at camp?
FRANK
Violet’s best friend is… Gem, with a G. They’re a theatre kid.
SASHA
Nice.
FRANK
We’re about the same age. I think Violet’s about 15, I think they’re both about 15. And… Gem is just always practising their soliloquys, memorising scripts… using the arts and crafts classes to make costumes and props…
SASHA
Nice. So is Gem very much the, like, actor type of theatre kid, rather than the behind-the-scenes kind of thing…
FRANK
Yeah, yeah.
SASHA
Okay. This is a very crucial question: has the casting for the big theatre production this summer been announced yet?
FRANK
Not yet, but Gem’s going for the main role.
LOWRI
Yeah.
SASHA
Of course. And Annie, what about Ivy’s best friend at camp?
ANNIE
Well it’s funny, I had an answer for if you’d picked me first, but it almost ended up working better that you didn’t, because I think that Ivy believes that her best friend at camp is Rowan?
LOWRI
Oh no!
[HORRIFIED LAUGHTER FROM EVERYONE]
Uh-oh!
ANNIE
Because Rowan was here for a couple years before Ivy came along, and Ivy – she was sort of the first person that Ivy felt comfortable sitting down eating lunch with and talking to and everything, and…
I mean, Ivy has Friendship plus 2 so she’s kind of friends with literally the whole camp, but Rowan was the first person that she really actually befriended at the camp.
SASHA
I really like the idea that most other people at camp think that Ivy is their best friend.
ANNIE
Yeah. Right.
SASHA
But Ivy thinks that Rowan is their best friend.
[MORE HORRIFIED LAUGHTER]
And Annie, what is Ivy an expert at at camp?
ANNIE
The – sports. Physical activities. Everything from nature walks to sort of more recreational time where they play team sports.
SASHA
Does she have a favorite sport?
ANNIE
(no hesitation) Soccer.
SASHA
Excellent. Lowri, what is Rowan an expert at at camp?
LOWRI
I’m very good at camp lore. So I wonder… do I know the layout of the camp really really well?
SASHA
Yeah, you can do!
LOWRI
So yeah, I would like to know the layout of the camp really well. Because I’ve been going for five years, right?
SASHA
Yeah. Okay, so I’ll say that you – not only do you know the layout very well, but you also know which cupboards hold which supplies…
LOWRI
Yeah, yeah.
SASHA
Where the counselors go, to… hang out, together, secretly, after lights-out sometimes.
LOWRI
Yeah. Where the good snacks are kept. Oh, maybe that’s why Ivy likes me, because I know where all the good snacks are for her bag!
[LAUGHTER]
ANNIE
My bag’s stocked!
FRANK
Good basis for any friendship, snacks.
ANNIE
Yeah!
LOWRI
It is.
SASHA
I have made many friends that way. And Frank, what about Violet? What are they an expert at at camp?
FRANK
Is just being where she shouldn’t be a skill? (laughing) Is that something you can be an expert in?
[SNICKERING]
SASHA
Okay, yeah! No, let’s, let’s call that a skill!
LOWRI
I like that skill.
FRANK
Yeah, it’s just like, sometimes it’s like, she’s snuck off somewhere, sometimes it’s literally like, you open a cupboard and there – there she is!
LOWRI
(laughing) You’re looking for the Jaffa cakes, and there’s Violet.
SASHA
Before we get started with the actual session, just gonna let everybody at home know that we’ve already had a discussion about the kind of tone that we want to set with this game, and kind of what our lines are, so… we have decided to go for a kind of 12A-slash-PG13 experience. Which means that there can be peril, and there may be a dreamboat swimming instructor or something, but there’s not going to be anything graphic, and in fact the game itself says this is not a kind of game where any harm is going to come to the characters. So we’re going to be playing in line with that.
And we’re also going to be using Script Change – so that means that if anybody wants to stop the game, we can say “stop” or “pause.” If anyone wants to change something that’s happened in the game, we can say “rewind.” If we want to establish that something’s happened but not linger on it, we can say “fast-forward,” just skip ahead, and we can say “instant replay” to clarify something or to play around with the roleplaying a little bit.
So before we actually start playing, I’m going to ask all of you to create the cabin and the camp counselor that is in charge of your cabin, whom I will be playing. I’ve got a couple of questions. First of all, is there anybody else in your cabin? Or is it just the three of you?
ANNIE
Typically speaking, I mean, I think on average 8 to 12 kids per one counselor in a cabin, just a series of bunks in each cabin?
[AGREEING NOISES FROM OTHERS]
That – feels like it may be too many, though?
LOWRI
Is there maybe a fourth person, who is just… never in?
[ANNIE LAUGHS]
SASHA
We can absolutely have a fourth person. There are a lot of girls at Camp Flying Moose, but this is a fantastical camp, so it can be as many or as few people per cabin as you like.
LOWRI
Mm.
SASHA
And we don’t necessarily have to actually “zoom in” on most of the people in the cabin as well, if you do want it to be a bit bigger.
FRANK
Six seems to me, seems like a reasonable, like, mesh between “we don’t want too many people around, but, you know, it’s not realistic.”
[SNICKERING]
ANNIE
Yeah, I’m happy to go with six, too. I was thinking six because it’s the same…
SASHA
Okay, so we’ll go with six kids. Do you want to come up with names for them now, or do you want me to see if they come up? Pepper them in, maybe?
LOWRI
Can one of them be called Pepper?
[ANNIE LAUGHS]
You just said “Pepper,” and I was like, “Yeah, I’ll take it.”
SASHA
Yes.
ANNIE
I’ll give you Ruby.
SASHA
Good names.
FRANK
Oh God, I’m feeling under pressure. (dramatic) Ohhh, my brain, it’s going, it’s going… “Dryad!”
[LAUGHTER]
SASHA
Okay, Dryad’s parents are hippies. That’s fine.
FRANK
Okay. Okay.
ANNIE
Yeah, there you go!
SASHA
Okay. Are the cabins here based on something like, alphabetically by surname, or are they completely random, or have you actually requested to be in a cabin together?
ANNIE
I think that Ivy’s definitely requested to be in a cabin with Rowan. I think that much for sure.
LOWRI
And Rowan just is friends with everyone, so it’s like, “Yeah, that’s cool! I don’t mind!”
ANNIE
Yeah.
FRANK
I like the idea of like, it’s randomized, but you can make requests?
LOWRI
Mm.
ANNIE
Right.
LOWRI
So maybe we don’t know who requested, and who was randomly put in?
ANNIE
Yeah.
SASHA
Ooooooh. I quite like that, that feels like some sort of intrigue.
[SNICKERING]
LOWRI
I love the stakes we’re setting. I love the stakes we’re setting.
SASHA
What about the camp counselor who is also assigned to your cabin?
FRANK
I like the idea of someone who’s like, they act like they’re annoyed, but they secretly just really adore all the kids.
ANNIE
Yes.
SASHA
I really like that, yeah.
LOWRI
Yeah. Yeah. And that kind of combines mine because I was going to say, I’m kind of having either someone who is so into it or so over it, and I quite like that that’s a – a melding of the two, almost.
[AGREEING NOISES]
ANNIE
I would think she would’ve been a former camper, who did the thing where you age out of camp but you still want to go, so you become a counselor?
FRANK
Yeah.
ANNIE
But since we’re teenagers, she has to act aloof about it, like “Ugh, I guess I’ll just go back to this camp, whatever, I’m not doing anything else,” but – secretly really excited.
LOWRI
Did she go to Camp Moose, or did she go to a different camp, and it’s a bit like, “It’s not as good as the camp I went to?”
[A FEW SNICKERS]
I don’t know. Is that too much?
ANNIE
I was thinking that she would have been Flying Moose, because I mean, I was personally drawing off – because there was this summer camp that I went to for a couple years that was not, like, a camp-camp, but… still, you know, like a day school during summer. As soon as I aged out of it, I immediately returned and started working there as a counselor, like immediately, because I wanted to go back. But it’s just, add that extra layer of aloofness, about pretending to be annoyed –
LOWRI
Mm.
ANNIE
– at being back, and, you know, being so teenager, like, “Oh, whatever, I guess I’m back here,” about it. But like, secretly really hyped to still be able to go.
LOWRI
Yeah.
SASHA
If she was at Camp Flying Moose as a teen herself and is now back, pretending to be aloof but actually really into it, was she a camper, then, at the same time as, maybe, Rowan and Ivy were campers? – Sorry, Rowan and Violet, since those two have been at the camp for a long time?
LOWRI
Ooh, that’s a good question.
ANNIE
It feels like she would have had to have been, then.
FRANK
Yeah.
ANNIE
If that’s correct, so…
LOWRI
Yeah.
ANNIE
You now have a counselor who used to be just another camper with you and some of the older girls. That’s interesting.
FRANK
Yeah.
SASHA
How do Rowan and Violet kinda treat that change in relationship? Are they less respectful? Are they trying to be a little bit extra chummy?
LOWRI
I think Rowan… I don’t want her to be, like, a suck-up, but…
[LAUGHTER]
[BEAT]
[LAUGHTER ESCALATES TO CACKLING]
I thought I had an end to that sentence, but I didn’t.
ANNIE
(still cackling) Perfect.
LOWRI
I was like, “But… I guess that’s where it’s going?”
FRANK
She just respects the chain of command! And that’s fine.
LOWRI
Yes! Yes. Things are laid out the way they are for a reason?
[MORE CACKLING]
Our counselor has done her time with us. Who better? Who better to organize our fun?!
FRANK
Violet has no respect. That has nothing to do with this counselor, Violet just has no respect.
SASHA
Violet just doesn’t… right. What about Ivy? Where does Ivy sit on the authority of camp counselors in general?
ANNIE
I think that Ivy unintentionally disrespects authority sometimes, but mostly just because – she just thinks of everyone as being, like, friends, so authority figures to her are just, other, like, people she should be friendly with, rather than like… Doesn’t treat them as being on a different level, tries to almost imagine herself as being at the same level as them, and that causes some unintentional friction sometimes.
SASHA
Mm.
What is the counselor’s name?
FRANK
I’ve had two names come to mind. I’ve had Stevie and (inaudible; “Claire”?)
LOWRI
Ooh!
SASHA
Those are two very different names.
FRANK
(laughing) I know!
ANNIE
I like Stevie.
LOWRI
I really like Stevie.
FRANK
Oh, okay.
SASHA
Okay, going with “Stevie.” Lastly, would you like to name your cabin?
ANNIE
I was gonna say “Redwood.” When I did an outdoor education I was in Redwood Cabin.
FRANK
Ooh, I like Redwood.
LOWRI
Pepper and Ruby, I kind of associate those with the color red, as well? Like…
ANNIE
Yeah.
FRANK
Mm.
SASHA
We have Ivy, Violet, and Rowan, who are three of the six girls in… Redwood Cabin, and their counselor is Stevie, a former camp attendee.
Okay! Has anybody got any questions before we begin the adventure?
LOWRI
Small thing. I can’t remember how “powered by the apocalypse” works, but I trust that we’re just going to be fine as we go through and…
SASHA
Yes. You have five generic moves. They are: “Make Friends,” “Investigate a Mystery,” “Adrenaline” – which means, like, perform some sort of feat of strength, “Be Quick as a Bunny” – move quickly, “Create The Perfect Tool,” or “The Power of Friendship,” which is where you can help each other out.
(pause) That’s actually six moves, isn’t it.
[LOWRI LAUGHS]
And then you each, on your sheets, have two special moves, which you can use any time you like.
What you do when you want to do one of those moves is, I will ask you to roll 2D6 and then add the relevant stat. So for instance, if you are rolling Make Friends, I will ask you to roll 2D6 plus Friendship.
So.
[THE SOUNDS OF CRICKETS CHIRPING FADES IN]
The layout of Camp Flying Moose is much like any idyllic forest camp. It’s in the heart of a forest that is incredibly dark, incredibly dense, and incredibly verdant. And then to the other edge, there is a beautiful turquoise lake – called Frog Lake, though there are no frogs.
[A FEW SNORTS]
There is a mountain to the north side called Mount Upright, and there is a cabin there that you sometimes do little treks to, to stay the night. There is an arts and crafts building, a big dining hall, there’s a library, there’s a theatre space… and any other activity you want, that will be that as well.
And then there’s a little village called Frank’s Bay, very close by, where sometimes you take little day trips to go and pick up shopping bits or volunteer in the local community.
You’ve been at camp for about a week by now, this year, although since you’ve all been before you’re quite familiar with kind of the routine and the layout of the place. You’re also quite familiar with the… what was at one time troubling noises coming from the forest in Mount Upright, but by now, you know – you know that it’s absolutely fine. There are some slight howls and scratches at night –
[UNEARTHLY, SOFT HOWLING]
But it’s been three years, and nothing bad has happened. You’ve all learned to sleep through it quite well.
This morning, you wake up as you always do, by the crowing of the artificial crows that the camp leader, Millie, has installed on the main building.
[THE ARTIFICIAL CROWS SCREECH]
[THE PLAYERS SNORT]
There were actual crows, but it turns out that they didn’t actually normally want to crow at the right time? They tend to crow at dawn, and Millie doesn’t like to sleep that short of a time. She likes to wake up at like, 8, not 5. So she got artificial crows instead.
When you do get up, are you, like, early risers? Are you kind of groggy? What’s your routine?
LOWRI
Well, Rowan loves routine. She gets up when the cock crows and just gets straight on with it, you know. Into the… (questioning) bathroom hut?
SASHA
The shower hut?
LOWRI
Yeah, yeah.
SASHA
I like to think that there’s probably like, there’s a bathroom hut, but there’s also those outdoor showers as well?
[AGREEING NOISES]
For people who really want to feel at one with nature.
[ANNIE SNICKERS]
LOWRI
I don’t think Rowan does! She’s very happy with the bathroom hut. And, you know, is ready on time for breakfast, of course. They’re a little early, actually.
ANNIE
I would say Ivy is not a morning person. Very much the type to wake up and kind of wander with one eye still slightly closed, not quite able to crack their eyelid all the way. Mumbling in bed all morning, hair all wild… She definitely always manages to pull it together for breakfast.
FRANK
I think Violet is like, the type who’s like, she’s wide awake. She’s aware, she’s alert. She just refuses to get out of bed until she absolutely has to.
[LAUGHTER]
SASHA
Right, so Rowan is up straight as soon as the crowing comes and out the door to the bathroom hut before Stevie’s actually even really opened her eyes properly, and then it is another good 15 minutes before Stevie kind of actually rolls out of bed and immediately goes to kind of shove at Ivy and Violet, saying –
STEVIE
(annoyed exhale) Get up! Come on!
[IVY GROANS SLEEPILY, VIOLET GROANS REGULARLY]
It’s breakfast time!
ROWAN
Come on, we’ll miss the Cocoa Puffs!
IVY
Okay, okay, alright, alright.
VIOLET
(overlapping) Cocoa Puffs is stupid.
IVY
(still sleepy) Let’s move. Let’s go. Alright.
SASHA
So you emerge from your sleeping bags –
[NOISES OF THE CAMPERS STRUGGLING WITH FABRIC]
– I assume this is the kind of camp that has sleeping bags. And trundle down to the dining hall. But when you get outside, you notice… the place has almost been trashed?
[LOWRI GASPS]
The camp is largely made up of wooden buildings and a lot of, like, wooden equipment. And all the fences, a lot of the little wooden stairs, a lot of the equipment’s just been smashed to pieces. There’s gouges in the floor, and like, scratch marks on a lot of the painted buildings?
You’ve never seen this much mess. Not at camp, anyway.
ROWAN
(shaky) Um – wh –
VIOLET
I know. I know what you’re all thinking, and it wasn’t me.
[THE PLAYERS SNICKER]
ROWAN
How did we sleep through this?!
IVY
I mean, I don’t know about you, I can sleep through anything but…
VIOLET
Maybe it was just a very quiet tornado?
LOWRI
Rowan looks forlornly at the timetable of the day she’s been carrying.
ROWAN
(still in shock) Well, I suppose the – the day’s all out now, isn’t it! I mean, breakfast is supposed to be at 7, and – (inhales) well, there’s no breakfast hall!
SASHA
Well, there is still a breakfast hall. So the buildings are still standing.
LOWRI
Oh! Oh, okay.
SASHA
The buildings are still standing. It looks more like there’s been some sort of high-octane wrestling match.
[SNICKERING]
You know? So the buildings are still standing, but, um… anything that could have 300-pound wrestler thrown against it and then collapsed, like, that has happened. Well, not the 300-pound wrestler has been thrown against it, but it has collapsed.
Or maybe they have!
ANNIE
Dun-dun-dun!
FRANK
This resolved, everyone, it was John Cena.
[CACKLING]
SASHA
That’s the level of destruction we’re going for. Like, folding chairs are broken. Fences are broken.
LOWRI
Buildings are standing.
SASHA
But buildings are still standing.
LOWRI
Cool.
SASHA
But their jaunty, colorful paintwork is all scratched up.
ANNIE
Do we see anyone else coming out of their cabins at the same time and all…
SASHA
Yes. So it is about the time for breakfast, so a lot of the girls are coming out of their own cabins and they are all… reacting exactly the same way as you are.
[SOUNDS OF A GROUP OF PEOPLE GASPING]
And kind of looking around, stunned. Stevie comes out of the cabin and kind of looks at everything, goes –
STEVIE
Ugh! (gritted teeth) Kids make such a mess!
VIOLET
I didn’t do it!
IVY
Stevie, Stevie, look at the – there’s the claw marks on the wall! Look at that! That’s – that’s wild. Look at that!
STEVIE
I’m sure it’s not claw marks, it’ll be… I don’t know, someone’s got some equipment and gone throwing it around, or…
IVY
Come on.
STEVIE
…waving some sticks.
IVY
Look at it!
ROWAN
I think that 7 AM is breakfast time, so we should just go and get some food, and then find out what happened! ‘Cause this is – look at the paintwork – (near tears) we spent hours painting that last week!
VIOLET
Look. Look at the – it’s all, it’s all in disarray. Look, the timetable is out.
ROWAN
(voice cracking) Don’t say that, Violet!
VIOLET
We’ve got to throw the timetable away. Look at this.
IVY
I mean, that said, I’m not going to argue with breakfast. I could use a little food.
LOWRI
Rowan is going to go and have breakfast, because you know, you need a full stomach to work things out.
SASHA
Mm.
LOWRI
And that’s the routine, and when things have gone awry, she’s going to fall back on her routine.
SASHA
Oh, yeah. And like, the reaction of the campers is very much split into, “oh my word what’s happened,” and, “well, I still need to eat.”
[PLAYERS SNICKER]
And so plenty of people are still filing into the dining hall.
[SOUNDS OF CAMPERS TALKING AND JOSTLING FADE IN]
So yeah, you can head in. There’s plenty of different options, you know, you can have your cereal and your fruits and your yogurts or you can also have greasy cooked things as well. Do any of you have, like, preferences for what kind of breakfasts you like to eat?
ANNIE
Ivy’s loading up a plate with, like, half a Belgian waffle, three or four pieces of bacon, a whole pile of scrambled eggs… just a very, very full plate. May indeed go back for seconds, depending on how the morning goes.
LOWRI
Usually Rowan would have quite a sensible breakfast, like porridge or something like that, but it is camp, it is holiday, so she’s having some kind of chocolate cereal.
FRANK
Awww.
LOWRI
Cos you know, she’s letting loose a bit.
SASHA
But not quite letting her hair down. She’s always got that hairtie.
LOWRI
Everything’s such a mess. It might be needed soon.
FRANK
Violet usually tends to favor just a lot of sweet things, but today Violet is just gonna try and just – basically run in, grab some toast, run back out, and start looking around at what happened.
SASHA
Nice. Let’s start with Ivy and Rowan, who are getting their breakfast treats. (aside) I have made myself hungry now.
[LAUGHTER]
They’re getting their breakfast treats –
LOWRI
(faint) I want waffles.
SASHA
And sitting down. So the kind of social sphere of Camp Flying Moose is… usually very easy-going. It is a camp for teenagers, and so naturally there are friendship groups, but it’s one of the less clique-y camps. And there’s often plenty of people you’re happy to sit with, and a lot of kind of coming and going between tables.
But not today. The layout of the dining hall is like, there’s long big tables with benches, so three long big tables with benches. And it’s usually kind of freeform, but today, the two outside tables and benches – some girls have kind of packed themselves quite closely, all along one side of the bench. And the other table, like the furthest bench opposite them, some more girls have kind of packed themselves quite closely. If someone tries to come and sit opposite them, or sit next to them, usually you’d expect people to turn around, but this time… they’re just kind of ignoring them. And you get the feeling there’s some animosity going on –
LOWRI
(intrigued) Mm!
SASHA
– between the two groups.
ANNIE
This is like, backs to the two opposite walls of the dining hall, sort of basically towards the middle…
SASHA
Yes.
LOWRI
So they’re facing each other.
ANNIE
Yeah.
SASHA
And it’s making it very awkward for anyone trying to sit on the table in between, because they just keep craning their necks and, like, glaring at each other. So most people are moving on.
LOWRI
This is upsetting, because Rowan does sit in the same seat every morning, on the middle table. And so obviously would like to sit there. Does she have friends in both groups, if that makes sense?
SASHA
Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Unless you would like her to only have friends in one group, or to not have any friends in either.
LOWRI
Mm. No, both groups, I think. I guess I’ll turn to Ivy and say –
ROWAN
This is… weird. Is there an event today, where we’re supposed to be split into groups? Why… Why are we…
IVY
I haven’t heard anything. If you haven’t heard it, I don’t know where it’s going to reach my ears from. You’re the one with the schedule.
ROWAN
Well, this is – (struggling) this is quite disconcerting, actually. There’s – Cassie. I’m going to ask Cassie. (calling) Cassie!
SASHA
Yeah, so you kind of wave and shout, “Cassie!” Cassie looks at you, acknowledges you – you know, like, nods or gives a little wave – but then instead of kind of inviting you over like she usually would, or yelling out “Hey Rowan!”, she just turns back and starts talking to the person next to her.
LOWRI
Are there any counselors around, or like… staff, or something?
SASHA
Yeah, so Stevie has come to the dining hall at the same time as you, and is sitting in this, like, little corner table where the counselors tend to sit and… be, air-quote, “grown-ups” together.
[ANNIE LAUGHS]
LOWRI
Yeah.
ANNIE
I think that having seen Rowan try to talk to Cassie and Cassie (inaudible) that, I think Ivy’s kind of aware on some level that she’s friends with everybody, so I think that seeing Cassie turn away she’s going to go up and try to sit opposite her and talk to her again, thinking that maybe she’ll have more success. And if possible I’d like to throw Friendship on it?
SASHA
Ordinarily Make Friends is kind of geared for mysterious creatures, but I am absolutely going to let you roll Friendship for just the other girls in the camp. Please tell me how you will approach Cassie and what kind of topic of conversation you’re trying to engage her with, then roll 2D6 and add your Friendship, which is a plus 2. So you’re going to add the 2D6 together, and then plus 2.
ANNIE
I think that Ivy is going to approach the table the opposite bench, very very casually. Kind of almost pretending not to notice what, like, the division in the room and everything. And just kind of, full of friendly energy, just pop the tray down and go,
IVY
Hey, Cassie, how’s it going! Hey! Is it okay if I sit here?
ANNIE
Just kind of like that.
[DICE ROLLS]
That is an 8.
SASHA
An 8. Okay. So, yeah, she will look at you and kind of say,
CASSIE
(distracted) Yeah, yeah, go ahead and sit.
SASHA
She won’t immediately engage you, but she will respond to a question if you want to ask her one.
ANNIE
I’m gonna – as I’m sitting down I’m gonna wave Rowan over behind me.
IVY
(whispering) Come on! Come sit.
LOWRI
Yeah, she’ll definitely come and sit with you.
ANNIE
Probably Violet too, but I don’t know if Violet is even somewhere I can see them right now.
FRANK
Well, no, I left immediately.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNIE
Okay, I’m trying to think of how I want to approach the question. I guess Ivy’s method would probably be a little bit more roundabout. I guess it would probably be something like –
IVY
So, what was up with outside? There was scratch marks on the walls… What was all that?
SASHA
She’ll kind of turn towards you and say,
CASSIE
I know! Isn’t it strange? I think someone must have it in for us, maybe? I don’t know. I think it’s really irresponsible.
IVY
The camp in general, or…?
CASSIE
Yeah! The camp in general. I mean, it seems like a really mean-spirited thing to do.
IVY
It does.
CASSIE
Don’t you think?
IVY
It does!
LOWRI
Can I roll Investigate to like, try and ask, on the back of that question –
ROWAN
So why… are we… sitting like this today?
SASHA
Okay, yeah, go ahead and roll Investigate. But rather than say that you’re going to be trying to, like, connect with Cassie…
LOWRI
Mm.
SASHA
…person-to-person, I’m gonna ask if you would like to come at it from an angle of trying to intuit something about the way that they’re kind of reacting to each other or the way that they’re acting towards other campers.
LOWRI
Okay. Maybe I’ll just ask,
ROWAN
So um… is there, like, a team event going on today? Like, why are we split into two?
LOWRI
And it’s 2D6, right, so I’ve got…
[DICE ROLLS]
SASHA
Yeah, so it’s 2D6 added together, and then your Smarts.
LOWRI
(overlapping) Five, nine… 11.
ANNIE
Wow.
SASHA
Okay. She’ll (inaudible) and she’ll say,
CASSIE
(acerbic) There’s no event.
SASHA
But because you rolled an 11, you may ask me two questions about the situation.
LOWRI
Mm.
SASHA
Now, the questions given in the game are very much to try to identify something mysterious. I like to broaden Investigate out a little bit and say it’s anything – mysterious phenomenon as well as an object. So I’m not going to ask you to stick to the specific questions, but to give an idea of, like, the scope, just like – “What is this thing called?” “Is it an imminent danger?” “How can we protect it?” That sort of thing.
So you may ask two such questions.
LOWRI
I guess… “Why are we sitting like this?” (laughs) Is one of the questions. And, “Is it something to do with what happened outside?”
SASHA
So, do you want to ask me those questions, or do you want to ask Cassie those questions?
LOWRI
I want help from my teammates! I don’t know!
[FRANK AND ANNIE LAUGH]
I can’t do decisions!
FRANK
I don’t know. It’s hard, cos I feel like obviously asking the GM is more useful. But I feel like asking Cassie would be really fun.
ANNIE
Yeah.
LOWRI
Okay, I, um –
ROWAN
So, Cassie, why are we sitting like this?
CASSIE
Oh, you mean, on two different tables?
ROWAN
Yeah! We usually sit all over the cafeteria.
CASSIE
Oh, yeah, well – I think I just thought I’d sit with, like, my friends today? You know, my friend group? I know everybody says it about camp, but I feel like these girls are my sisters. So I want to sit with them.
ROWAN
Okay, but you’re wearing a friendship bracelet that Ruth gave you, yesterday, and she’s on the other table. Are you not sisters?
LOWRI
That – oh no, that’s my other question! Damn it, did I just blow my other question?!
[ANNIE CACKLES]
SASHA
Do you want me to answer it?
LOWRI
Yeah, I asked it. Go on.
SASHA
Yeah, okay. She’ll look at Ruth. She’ll look at their friendship bracelet. She’ll look… confused? Look at Ruth and look at the friendship bracelet, and look at Ruth, and look at the friendship bracelet.
Eventually, after – it’s like, she’s kind of done that “white woman looking at maths” meme?
[PLAYERS LAUGH]
She will take off the friendship bracelet.
[LOWRI GASPS]
ANNIE
Dun-dun-dun!
LOWRI
Oh!
SASHA
Before we end the episode, I think let’s just quickly check in with Violet, who left the dining hall.
[THE NOISES OF PEOPLE CHATTING ARE REPLACED WITH THE CHIRPING OF CRICKETS]
Frank, is there anything particular that Violet would like to do while she’s eating their snacks?
FRANK
They are just like… Ivy seemed really fixated on all these scratch marks. Violet’s just going to try and look and be like, would a stick do this? Would my hands do that? What kind of scratch marks are these?
SASHA
Would you like to roll Investigate?
FRANK
I would love to roll Investigate! Oh, if only I had any Smarts!
[LAUGHTER]
[DICE ROLLS]
SASHA
Well, if you’ve got a zero…
FRANK
Six.
SASHA
Six, okay. So you look at the scratch marks. You try to give it a swipe with your hands. That doesn’t fit. You try to find a stick to see if you can get it to make the same marks –
[A LONG SCRATCHING NOISE]
You just manage to scratch up the buildings more.
[OUTBURST OF LAUGHTER]
It’s hard to tell if it looks exactly the same, because you’ve kind of scratched over the other marks? But it definitely looks worse than it did.
FRANK
I will hastily look around to see if there’s any counselors.
SASHA
I’m going to make a little roll. Sometimes I like to make a little roll.
LOWRI
Yeah, make a roll.
[DICE ROLLS]
SASHA
Yeah, there is a camp counselor. Stevie has just wandered out of the dining hall, just in time to see you scratch up the buildings.
[ANNIE CACKLES MORE, HORRIFIED]
And says –
STEVIE
Violet! Come here!
VIOLET
No!
[LOWRI LAUGHS]
STEVIE
You’ve been making these scratches worse – did you do this in the first place?!
VIOLET
No – I told you I didn’t do it!
STEVIE
I knew it was suspicious when you said it wasn’t you immediately.
VIOLET
Because I knew you’d think it was me!
STEVIE
Well, I definitely think it’s you now!
VIOLET
But it wasn’t me! Look, the stick can’t – I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure the stick can’t do scratches like that. That’s what I was trying to find out! I’m just trying to help you, Stevie.
STEVIE
Well, it doesn’t look very helpful. Now we have to paint even more. I’m going to have to tell Millie about this.
[LOWRI GASPS]
VIOLET
No! You don’t have to tell Millie.
SASHA
So Millie is the woman who owns the camp, and she is a very formidable presence. A little bit of a, like, Rosie the Riveter lumberjack type. So Violet, have you ever crossed paths with Millie before? Like, have you ever essentially been sent to Millie before?
FRANK
(laughing) Yeah. Considering what Violet – probably a couple of times, yeah.
SASHA
Okay. How naturally inclined to find that stressful is Violet?
FRANK
Oh, very.
SASHA
(audible wince) Okay.
FRANK
Cos it’s going to get back to my parents!
SASHA
Oh, yeah, it will get back to your parents.
LOWRI
Oh no.
SASHA
Millie definitely will be, like, keeping your parents in the loop about your wellbeing, but you will also know that she doesn’t always react to things the way you expect her to react to things? And while something will get back to your parents, it might not be the whole story.
FRANK
Yeah. She’s weird and unpredictable, and I don’t like that at all.
SASHA
Okay, so Stevie will say,
STEVIE
Come on. We’re going to go see Millie right now.
VIOLET
(hopefully) What if, instead, I gave you some gum?
[BEAT]
[THE PLAYERS COLLAPSE INTO CACKLING]
SASHA
I think – let’s wrap up the episode right there. On the suspense, the suspenseful question of whether an offer of a stick of gum will save Violet.
[THEY MANAGE TO GET THEIR LAUGHTER UNDER CONTROL]
So, thank you very much for listening to Camp Flying Moose for Girls of All Kinds. I have been Sasha Sienna, and with me has been…
LOWRI
Lowri –
SASHA
(overlapping) Frank –
LOWRI
Oh.
[MORE CACKLING]
SASHA
Oh. Sorry Lowri! Lowri, you’ve been… you?
LOWRI
I have been Frank!
FRANK
And I’ve been Annie! Annie, who have you been?
ANNIE
I’ve been Lowri!
LOWRI
Yay!
SASHA
Wonderful.
LOWRI
Come back for part 2 next week!
EVERYONE
(overlapping) Bye!
[THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES THEME – OUTRO]
ALEX
This episode is distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial ShareAlike 4.0 International License. For more information, visit rustyquill.com, tweet us @therustyquill, visit us on Facebook, or email us at mail@rustyquill.com. Thanks for listening.