[Intro Theme]
ANNOUNCER
Rusty Quill Presents: The Magnus Protocol.
Episode Forty-Nine – Pipelines.
[Music]
[Landline recording begins]
[Gwen is sat shuffling paperwork]
[Suddenly someone barges in]
GWEN
I told you, Celia, you have to knock before – oh!
ALICE
(closing door) Yeah, not Celia, not knocking. She in yet?
GWEN
Really, Alice? You disappear to Berlin for weeks chasing a dangerous lead with no word other than a trail of blurry ‘receipt’ photos, and that’s all you have to say?
ALICE
Okay, hi Gwen, I hate what you’ve done with the place. Now is she in or not?
GWEN
…No. She should be though.
ALICE
(rummaging) Right…
GWEN
Now what are you –
ALICE
Catch.
[Alice throws the toy box to Gwen, who fumbles it.]
GWEN
What is this?
ALICE
A souvenir.
GWEN
(moving to open it) Oh. Well, thank you Alice, you really shouldn’t –
ALICE
Don’t open it. Put it down. Now.
[Gwen drops the box on the desk; it sounds dense]
GWEN
What is it?
ALICE
I don’t know. It’s from that external, Heinrich.
GWEN
And you brought it here?
ALICE
I already tried burning it and throwing it in the Thames, but it just comes back. What do we use to store this stuff?
GWEN
What stuff?
ALICE
You know, spooky stuff! Haunted dolls, possessed lawnmowers, evil… things. You keep saying you’re in charge, so what have we got?
GWEN
Alice, we don’t store things here. It’s a desk job.
ALICE
Seriously? Nothing? Do we have a safe, at least? We need to keep it away from Celia or Jack.
GWEN
(gingerly examining the box) I’ll see what I can do. I suppose Starkwall might have some kind of artefact storage facility or something.
ALICE
Ha.
GWEN
Speaking of, how did you find their agent?
ALICE
I mean, he looked the part –
GWEN
Good…
ALICE
But then he pissed off Heinrich and got immediately ripped apart, so… two stars?
[Beat]
GWEN
I’m sorry, what? He was –
ALICE
(playing off real trauma) Killed horribly, yeah.
GWEN
…I see. And you didn’t think it might be worth mentioning this at some point?
ALICE
I didn’t want to get into it over the phone. Besides, we were busy.
GWEN
We?
ALICE
Yeah, me and Heinrich, the monster who killed him. We were tracking stuff down about Klaus Schweitzer, the programmer I was talking about when we ended up –
[Gwen reacts slightly]
ALICE
What?
GWEN
What?
ALICE
What do you know?
…
Gwen!
GWEN
You didn’t tell me that was his name.
ALICE
Schweitzer? Why does that matter? You know him?
GWEN
You remember when I was asking you about one of the old IT staff a while ago before everything… well, before everything?
ALICE
(thrown) What? I mean, vaguely? You wanted to know about some random old hire, what was his name –
[She realizes]
(annoyed) Goddamnit, Gwen.
GWEN
What?
ALICE
You let me piss off all the way to Germany with killer toys and Stasi psychos –
GWEN
Wait, what?
ALICE
And this whole time you already knew what was going on!? You could have done something?
GWEN
No, no! It’s not like that, I just, I saw a video of him and Lena. Where she… well… shot… him.
ALICE
I – What?
GWEN
He was begging her to spare him, they struggled, the gun went off.
ALICE
She killed him?
GWEN
I mean, it looked like he got away, but she’d shot him in the gut. So…
ALICE
…
So that’s how you did it.
GWEN
Did what?
ALICE
This whole time I’ve had this pathetic little hope that maybe, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you were put in charge because somehow, despite your constant bullshit, that there might be something, some secret reason that made you worth promoting. But there isn’t. You just lucked into some melodramatic soap-opera dirt on Lena and ran with it.
GWEN
It wasn’t luck!
ALICE
Really? That’s what you’re taking away from that? Fine, then how did you find out about it? Hmm?
GWEN
I was… I was sent it.
ALICE
By who? Freddie?
GWEN
No. Well, sort of, it was… Augustus.
ALICE
What?
GWEN
We’ve been talking. Sort of.
ALICE
I’m sorry?
GWEN
He sent me an email with the video attached. And he told me how I could use it.
ALICE
And what, you just believed him – it? Some sketchy email from a random voice in a haunted computer tells you to jump and you just ask how high!?
GWEN
I’m not an idiot, all right! But it… he… knew things. Things that I needed to know and when I had decided I was going to leave he warned me what would happen.
ALICE
What are you talking about, Gwen?
[Gwen hesitates, sighs, then opens a case on her computer.]
AUGUSTUS
Savills-knight Confidential Property Information Disclosure Form 987-2012 for the benefit of Elric Capital Investments Ltd.
Property Address: Strand Lane Baths, 5 Strand Lane, London
Postcode: WC2R 2NA
Current Owner: National Trust England (reverted following disputed Bouchard Leasehold)
Contact Information: SiobhanEnloe@nationaltrust.org.uk
Property Classification: Restricted Historic Site
Year of Construction: 1612
Number of Prior Owners: 9+
Title Deed Reference Number: LN1611360
Occupancy Status: Unoccupied
Primary Use of Property: Historic Site
Structural damage? – Flooding. See attached.
Legal Disputes or Planning Issues? – Ownership contested by Bouchard estate and National Trust.
Has the property been the location of any serious criminal activity, including violent crime or unexplained deaths?
William Weddell – 1792
Elias Bouchard – 2011
Details Attached
Has the property been subject to police investigation? – Yes. See attached.
Has the property undergone professional remediation for biohazards or contaminants? – Pending remediation for human remains, see attached.
Any persistent issues with utility systems? – Yes. See attached.
Environmental hazards? – Yes. Lead piping, lead-based paint. No remediation.
Unapproved Modifications: Yes. See attached.
Existing warranties, guarantees, or active insurances? – Yes. See attached.
Zoning: Historic site, Commercial space, mixed-use.
Access rights, easements or similar? – Yes. National Trust Covenants and Easements, including limited public access rights and conservation orders.
Outstanding Taxes or Fees: Yes, see Bouchard Estate dispute.
We, the undersigned, affirm that the information provided in this form is accurate and complete to the best of our knowledge.
Signed:
Jason Knight & Derrick Saville
20-09-2013
Additional Notes or Comments:
Requested documentation attached per your request with permission of London MET. I hear it’s being treated as a mental health incident which makes sense. Let us know if you’re looking to invest in an actual Roman Site or other historic property and we’ll be happy to deal with you directly.
Jason
First Attachment as follows:
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re: The Baths! 03-07-2011 11:29am
Hey dude,
Figured I should bounce this into a separate thread now we’re settled. I also looped out Sebastian over at Elric, no need to bore him with the details.
Well done getting NT to play ball with the lease even if it is with all those Ts&Cs. They should be paying me given all the restoration work!
Planning permits are all in too, I’m guessing Westminster are just glad not to be paying the bills anymore? Either way you better start calling me Dionysus cos I run a Roman bathhouse now!
If you can be on site tomorrow to let the Shaman in, I’d appreciate it. Fair warning, he’s not as chill as you would expect but he won’t be any trouble, he’s just excited to start testing the convergence, you know what the Ley Line lot are like. Just don’t ask about the Rocque Map again otherwise he’ll be fully off on one.
TTYL,
Elias
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re:re: The Baths! 03-07-2011 11:30am
Oh, also, I found someone to test the water. He’s not cheap but he knows what he’s talking about. He suggested it might be coming from Holywell or St Celement before I even mentioned them!
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re:re:re: The Baths! 03-07-2011 11:32am
Also also, if you have anyone on file for Roman restoration work let me know, I want the best.
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re:re:re:re: The Baths! 05-07-2011 11:19am
Hey dude,
Shaman is totally on board which is cool. Apparently it’s not quite on the Strand line like I thought but there’s still definitely some energy there, Caesar’s Well will just have to pick up the slack right? Seems fair to me for a Roman bath lol!
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re:re:re:re:re: The Baths! 06-07-2011 11:02am
Hey dude,
You might wanna update your records. I tried your Roman ruins guy but once I told him the job he just laughed at me. You might want to steer clear of him in future.
Luckily, I found a guy online and he reckons we should be able to do the Bickford-Foord-Matania renovations no problem. The marble and stucco won’t be cheap but it’ll be worth it. An ancient Roman bath, fully harmonised in central London? That’s worth spending a bit of cash on right? (still no need to loop Sebastian in, this is all in scope). All going well, six months from now you won’t need that plaque on the wall, people will be able to feel Vespasianic energies, never mind what the great and powerful LCC Architect’s Office say!
Speaking of, the water guy should be round today. I’d appreciate it if you could let him in. All going well he’ll be able to finally put that stupid “modified cistern” nonsense to rest. Anyone with any real spiritual understanding can tell it’s a real site of power, not just glorified plumbing, and the sooner we can prove it the sooner we can start doing the real work. Thanks again for your help. I did hear you when you said you don’t normally deal with stuff after point-of-sale, but this should be the last time, promise.
Laters,
Elias
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re:re:re:re:re:re: The Baths! 09-07-2011 10:02am
Big news. The water results came back yesterday with “slight elevations of nitrate and phosphate.” That pretty much proves it’s special. We are so on!
I know he mentioned stuff about lead as well but like, it’s a Roman bath, we knew that going in, right? I’m heading in today to take some measurements for the marble people. You should come along and I can sign those last papers.
Cheers dude.
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re:re:re:re:re:re:re The Baths! 10-07-2011 06:03am
I know you said not to message you again but like, this one’s important.
So after you left I figured I would poke around a bit, soak up the vibes one last time before all the construction work started proper. Anyway, I was feeling the brickwork in the main corridor, and I could feel that buzzing again, like I told you. I could sense all the old Romans still there, just on the other side of the wall, only this time I could like really feel it, y’know? And as I got to the blocked door at the end, I dunno why but I started feeling like if I could just open it I could join them, like there was some secret door or something.
So, I just sort of pushed on it, just to see. You never know, right? And then it… gave way and the other side…
We always knew there was a whole mess of stuff hidden on the King’s College side in the old Norfolk Hotel basement but this…
I went to Pompeii as a kid on a school trip, walked the streets, saw the graffiti on the walls, and mostly, I was disappointed. I didn’t feel anything. It was dead. It was all just… rocks. Old rocks in the shape of a city and its people.
The next day we went to Herculaneum. It’s another Roman ruin, just down the road, and you’d think it would be just the same, but you’d be wrong. It didn’t burn like Pompeii, it was buried in a mudslide and that changes everything. There you could feel it, the streets, the buildings, the people… they were all preserved after all that time, completely untouched. They were still there and it was still alive and I could feel it.
That’s what it felt like on the other side of that doorway. The mosaics on the floor… the frescos… every inch of it was real, you could see it, you could touch it. Only… I didn’t want to. They were all grotesques, strange chimeras of plants, people and animals all so tangled up with one another you couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began, a huge sprawling morass of life in tile…
I caught myself tracing a path along the revealed corridor: man to dog, to plant, to fish, to tree, to… something I couldn’t even recognize, winding paths of transformation stretching into darkness. I don’t even know how far I followed those things in the dark, lulled by murmur of thousandyear old conversations, but eventually I found another door. A small, nondescript one at the base of the wall which every monstrous route led to. I wanted to open it, to find another living treasure inside, to pull it out into the light and let it shine for everyone to see, to let them feel its power the way I did… but I didn’t. I’m not stupid. I didn’t have the right gear and no-one knew where I was.
That’s why I’m going tonight instead. My phone’s charged, I’ve got a torch, a digital camera, I even borrowed a hard hat from one of the roofers and if anything happens, you’ll know where I am. I’ll be going in around 7 once all the workers have gone home (no sense freaking them out).
I’d appreciate it if you could come, Jason, I wouldn’t have got this far without your help. Call me if you get this in time, you have my number on file. Wish me luck, dude, if this goes well you’re about to have the biggest win of your career!
Elias
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re The Baths! 10-07-2011 7:34pm
Heading in now. I can feel that buzz again and it’s so strong. And I can definitely hear conversation on the other side of the walls, it must back onto a lecture hall or something… going to check the trapdoor first. My guess is it leads to some kind of hypocaust, but I need to be sure. We’ve got to have a complete record to shove in all their faces.
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re The Baths! 10-07-2011 7:48pm
It’s full of pipes. Thick lead ones all over the place. I’m trying hard not to disturb them but it’s getting difficult to move. And it’s too hot. There’s condensation everywhere and when I touched one of them it scalded me. If you get this I might need some help, I’m struggling here.
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re The Baths! 10-07-2011 7:54pm
You need to answer your phone. I’m stuck. Got myself wedged between the pipes and they’re burning me. No-one is answering their phone. I need help.
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re The Baths! 10-07-2011 8:01pm
The pipes are moving. I can feel it. They’re moving and they’re burning me, Jason. Help. Help me.
Eliasgoeshard@hotmail.com to Jasonb@Savillsknight.com re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re:re The Baths! 10-07-2011 8:03pm
Helfs ehloegro aggadfop adgg ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggggggg…
[Beep.]
ALICE
Okay. Lonely deluded hippie gets crushed to death. Pretty standard stuff. What am I missing?
GWEN
Elias… he was my uncle. He was the only one who ever listened, who… it doesn’t matter. The point is, I never knew what happened to him. Augustus showed me.
ALICE
Listen, Gwen, I’m sorry about your uncle, but honestly? It sounds to me like Freddie tricked you into taking Lena out by tugging on your heartstrings and trying to, I don’t know, fill that void that your uncle left?
GWEN
You still don’t get it. I liked Elias. But he wasn’t a father figure, he wasn’t a mentor, he was a cautionary tale –
ALICE
Well yeah, of what happens if you mess with this stuff –
GWEN
He was a warning of what happens if you don’t figure out what’s happening. Whatever that Dread is, if you touch it like we have, the only way to survive is to master it. Elias was an idiot who let himself get chewed up. I’m not. I’m the one pulling strings now.
ALICE
…
Gwen, listen, I don’t think you realise –
GWEN
Haven’t you got a caseload to catch up on?
[Beat.]
[Alice takes a moment, then stands and moves to leave.]
ALICE
I know you’re scared of what’s been happening, but –
GWEN
Get out of my office, Alice.
[Alice hesitates, sighs, then heads out]
[Gwen sits and for once seems completely composed]
[CCTV recording starts up]
[Alice is drinking coffee alone and deep in thought when Celia rushes in]
CELIA
You’re back!
ALICE
Yeah, hey, Celia.
[They step towards one another as if to embrace, then don’t.]
[Beat.]
CELIA
Glad you made it back in one piece. You’ll have to tell me the whole story once I’m caught up.
ALICE
Sure. Looks like you’ve been busy without me.
CELIA
Oh well, y’know.
ALICE
Sure.
[Beat.]
CELIA
Listen, Alice, I’m sorry.
ALICE
Yeah?
CELIA
Yeah, you’ve every right to be annoyed that I haven’t made any progress with the Sam stuff while you’ve been risking your life chasing Freddie’s shadow.
ALICE
I mean, I won’t lie, I was definitely peeved at points.
CELIA
And I’m sorry, I truly am. If I could bring him back, I would. I just… what with doing all the cases on my own and Gwen and Jack –
ALICE
It’s okay.
CELIA
No it’s not –
ALICE
Celia, honestly, it’s all right. I was thinking stuff through on the flight back and having spoken to Gwen just now… I get it. It’s not been easy here and you’ve got a life outside of this shithole. You’ve got your own stuff going on and I… I don’t want to get in the way of that.
CELIA
Alice…
ALICE
Let me finish, I got this all scripted in my head on the way here and we haven’t got to the tearful reunion part, yeah?
CELIA
(affectionate) Sorry.
ALICE
I don’t blame you for what happened to Sam. None of this awful crap is our fault and when it comes for you there’s nothing you can really do about it. That said, if you still want to be part of trying to figure out what happened to Sam and how we can get him back, that’s great. If not, I understand. I’m not interested in losing anyone else. We’ve got to look out for one another, especially with… whatever’s happening to Gwen in there, and if that means giving you your space –
[Celia embraces Alice fiercely]
[Beat]
[Alice hugs her back. She really needed that.]
ALICE
…or not…
CELIA
(muffled) I’m still in. I promise. I just… I can’t really explain right now.
ALICE
That’s okay. I’m that tired, I’d only forget it anyway.
[Celia laughs and they linger in the embrace before eventually separating]
ALICE
Right, come on then. Let’s get back there and start cleaning up this mess.
[Landline recording starts up]
[We’re listening to hold music, both militaristic and cheap]
[Eventually:]
BRETT
This is Brett.
GWEN
Hello Brett. This is Gwendolyn Bouchard of the O.I.A.R.
BRETT
Ah, Miss Bouchard. I was just about to call you, I just heard that your employee has returned to the UK.
GWEN
That’s correct.
BRETT
I’ve also been informed that our operative was killed in action.
GWEN
Correct. It seems that your “field-trained specialist” managed to get himself killed almost immediately by an External, leaving my staff member to complete her work entirely unprotected for the rest of her trip.
BRETT
Yeah, our analysts tell me our operative was murdered by an entity marked by yourselves as your in-country agent. Is that correct?
GWEN
Yes and –
BRETT
Well firstly, I can only apologize for what’s happened. This is of course the last thing that we wanted for a demonstration of our services.
GWEN
I should hope not.
BRETT
Of course, we can only operate completely effectively when provided complete and effective intel, and it’s clear to me the threat level of your in-country contact was misrepresented. Hence the suboptimal outcome.
GWEN
Suboptimal? You’d call a dead staff member and an at-risk client “suboptimal?”
BRETT
Well firstly, I’d just like to point out that all our field operatives are actually individually licensed private subcontractors and as such Starkwall Protection Services does not accept any professional liabilities relating to them –
GWEN
Of course you don’t –
BRETT
And secondly, according to our reconnaissance reports, your in-field staff member actually left the location with the in-country External agent and proceeded to go about their business under no duress, meaning that although the unanticipated fatality was regrettable, it did not compromise your employee’s safety, nor your organization’s stated objectives at the time.
GWEN
Are you finished?
BRETT
Just making sure we’re all on the same page, Miss Bouchard.
GWEN
Then let me make it as clear for you as possible. Based on this laughable performance, the O.I.A.R. will not be renewing your contract at this time and I will instead be lodging a formal complaint.
BRETT
I’m sorry to hear that, Miss Bouchard. The O.I.A.R. is a valued historic client, after all. I’ll have our complaints department get in contact by email to discuss the matter further with you. But otherwise, I wish you luck finding alternative security arrangements, and if that doesn’t work out, you know how to reach us.
GWEN
Goodbye, “Brett.”
BRETT
Talk to you later, Miss Bouch–
[Gwen hangs up, fuming]
[Beat]
[On impulse, Gwen picks up the phone and dials a new number]
GWEN
Hi Lena, it’s Gwen, I know you told me –
[Beep]
ANSWER MACHINE
(looping) We’re sorry, the number you have dialled has been disconnected or is no longer in service –
[GWEN makes a disappointed noise]
ANSWER MACHINE
– We’re sorry, the number you have dialled has been disconnected or is no longer in service.
[Recording ends.]
[Music]
ANNOUNCER
The Magnus Protocol is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International License. The series is created by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall, and directed by Alexander J Newall.
This episode was written by Alexander J Newall and edited with additional materials by Jonathan Sims, with vocal edits by Nico Vettese, soundscaping by Meg McKellar, and mastering by Catherine Rinella with music by Sam Jones.
It featured Billie Hindle as Alice Dyer, Anusia Battersby as Gwendolyn Bouchard, Lowri Ann Davies as Celia Ripley, with additional voices from Tim Fearon.
The Magnus Protocol is produced by April Sumner, with executive producers Alexander J Newall, Dani McDonough, Linn Ci, and Samantha F.G. Hamilton, and Associate Producers Jordan L. Hawk, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cetius d’Raven, and Megan Nice.
To subscribe, view associated materials, or join our Patreon, visit rustyquill.com. Rate and review us online, tweet us @therustyquill, visit us on facebook or email us at mail@rustyquill.com.
Thanks for listening.