ANNOUNCER
This episode is dedicated to Thierry Deuble. “Hello Thierry, Apologies for the deception, but I wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself.”
[Intro Theme]
ANNOUNCER
Rusty Quill Presents: The Magnus Protocol.
Episode Sixteen – Anti-Social.
[Music]
[Beeping as the O.I.A.R. computer’s microphone starts up as usual]
[Footsteps approach]
SAM
There was a peppermint teabag in the back of the cupboard. Thought it might be better than coffee considering… well.
[He puts it on the desk next to Alice]
ALICE
(quiet, a little shaky) Thanks.
CELIA
…Do you want to talk about it?
ALICE
I…
Christ, I still shake when I think about it.
SAM
It’s okay.
CELIA
Come here.
[CELIA holds ALICE. Comforting stillness.]
[Alice takes a few deep breaths.]
ALICE
(sniffling) Thanks. Yeah, I’m… I’m all right.
Just a lot, y’know? I haven’t seen someone die since…
SAM
Yeah.
ALICE
…I went back afterwards. Couldn’t just leave her. Tape player was gone and she’d stopped speakin’, and when the paramedics turned up they just called it straight away. Said she’d been dead for ages.
CELIA
But…
ALICE
But I heard her talking. About drowning.
Paramedics just wanted to treat me for shock. They kept telling me there was no way she could have been walking with that much water in her lungs.
[…]
SAM
What are you saying?
ALICE
I don’t know. (a weak attempt at a joke) Maybe that I’m finally losing it?
CELIA
I believe you.
ALICE
No you don’t.
CELIA
I’m serious. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I know exactly what happened, but I don’t think you just saw a body and freaked out. That’s not the Alice I know.
SAM
Same. And it’s not like it’s any weirder than half the stuff we read here.
ALICE
(touched) Thanks, guys.
Maybe…
Eurgh. (sighing) I know it’s selfish, but, I kind of hoped I’d paid my horror dues working here, y’know?
CELIA
I think there’s plenty of it to go around at the moment.
[Beat]
ALICE
Welp, cheers for the pep talk and all but we should probably get on. The last thing I need is Lena getting on my case on top of everything else.
SAM
You’re sure you’re okay to work?
ALICE
Yeah. I already wasted most of Sunday cryin’ about it. Anyway, odds are Freddie will spit out a transcript of the whole thing. Least I can do is make sure it’s filed properly, right?
SAM
(trying to joke) So that would be Z for zombie, o-or…?
Er…
I’m. Just going to… um… y-yeah.
[A click of the mouse, and the case begins.]
CHESTER
https://www.vidklik.com/@MadamElectrum
150 Following, 137.4K Followers, 1.67M Likes
The Madam will see you now!
Hashtag goth girl. Hashtag lifestyle. Hashtag beauty. Hashtag alternative. Hashtag aesthetic.
MadamElectrum.wordpress.com
Videos: Madam E/Ink5oul – Tattoo Reveal!
30-10-2023
[Note: Ink5oul is pronounced as “ink-soul” throughout.]
[Beep of a recording starting]
MADAM E
Hey guys! It’s the one you’ve been waiting for, I know. I’ve had so many messages: when’s it gonna be, when’s it happening? Well, here we are! Madam Electrum coming to you live with the tattoo terror themselves: the one, the only, Ink5oul!
[A fanfare effect.]
INK5OUL
(aloof) Hey.
MADAM E
So for any of you sweetums who have been sleeping on this, Ink5oul is the tattoo CEO, period. No cap, their designs are in-credible, and only for the true ubergoth. Ain’t that right?
INK5OUL
(cold/flat) That’s what they tell me.
MADAM E
And let me say, they are the absolute GOAT, so I’m here for my very own, completely personalized, absolutely aesthetic, totally vegan, boujee ink. For free?
INK5OUL
That’s right.
MADAM
This is seriously… I’m going in straight blind, trusting the process, and I am a full on Ink5oul stan. So, as I finna get marked, make sure you’re following on socials, subbed to my Youtube and OnlyFans (if you know, you know) and sending those like, like, likes!
[As Madam E talks we can hear sounds of equipment being set up]
INK5OUL
You ready for your heart’s desire?
MADAM E
(laughing, nervous) I’m literally shaking! But… What’s the worst that can happen?
INK5OUL
Let’s find out.
[DUN DUN DUNNNN! sound effect plays]
[Madam E gasps in pain as Ink5oul starts to tattoo with a whirring sound]
[Swiping sound effect as the recording cuts to:]
[Whirring sound has stopped. MADAM E is still gasping for breath.]
MADAM E
(pained, none of the usual bravado) Is… is it over?
INK5OUL
Take a look.
[MADAM E sits up, wincing, and looks at herself in the mirror.]
INK5OUL
What do you think?
MADAM E
Oh.
Oh wow…
INK5OUL
(almost smug) Now get out.
[Recording stops with a beep.]
CHESTER
Videos: Recent Ink5oul rumours!
19-12-2023
MADAM E
Hey guys! So, you’ve all been asking, and yeah, ya fave thick and perky kindergoth is finally finna spill on the whole Ink5oul drama.
Now y’all know I’m not one to sip when there’s tea, even when they’re mutuals, but this is super hard for me cos like, y’all know I’m kind of in a situationship with them, ever since I got that heart tat and I don’t wanna throw shade. But I gotta be savage, cos something been living rent free, and… I gotta talk about it, ya get me?
So like, since getting that ink I been feeling A-MA-ZING. [sparkle sound effect plays] And I admit I mighta been a bit extra, simping on Ink5oul. So you knows your girl was slidin’ [slide whistle sound effect] into their DMs – holla to all them other thirsty girls! – and I got into a bit of a kiki.
We was chattin’ ‘bout their work, how much I love it, and ya girl got to asking where they got their ideas, cos like, obviously I’m no cap jelly of their skills. So they was all like (teasing) “secrets,” and, sure, but that got me sus, cos like, we were high-key vibing then suddenly they’re just like, dead, y’know?
Anyway, after that we’re both hustlin’ as we do an’ don’t talk for a while. Then from nowhere they’re like, “So are you a real goth or not?” And I’m like –
[She makes a scoffing noise]
“I’m more goth than you can handle.”
And they just send me “from.vision.ruled, Thursday, two thirty AM”. Takes a tick for me to clock that it’s 3words, but when I look it up, turns out it’s this patch up in Highgate Cemetery?
Natch, I was in. Sure, it’s a bit sus but also like, that’s Gothdam Central. No way I’d pass up the chance to vibe with Ink5oul there. Even if it was a bit of an afterparty, ya feel me?
So I sneaked in – [bell ringing sound effect] “allegedly” – and there they were chillin’ in the dark with a big-ass spade over their shoulder? Big mood, amirite? I figure ya girl is in for a spooky treat [sting sound effect], bit of roleplay, but they’re still straight dead with me, just tell me to follow, so I do.
We head on through the graves, and then they point to one of ‘em and just give me a look. I was no cap shook. And then they just said, “dig.”
[Sound effect of someone saying “Bruh.”]
I laughed, ‘cause, like, the hell? But they were serious. “I thought you were goth?” they said.
Now ya girl is hella goth. But. This? This was just nasty! So I told them they were outta pocket and they just give me the look again and whisper, “Don’t make me break your heart.”
I’m telling you, I could feel the words in my chest, y’know? Brutal. That does me and so I am out of there like that.
Now I ain’t no fool and I know crazy when I peep it. So I bail.
But that ain’t the whole story, oh no. Cos I know some of you seen on the news the next day there’s this whole thing about someone breaking into Highgate and no-cap robbing graves.
Now I know what y’all are thinking, and hell no I ain’t gonna call it in, but like… Y’all gotta know what’s up. And, like, where does Ink5oul get all their ideas, huh? Are they really all that or maybe, maybe – they’re just bitin’ stuff from some mouldy old bodies. Nasty. Ya girl is a goth, not a ghoul, and I am done with Ink5oul.
That’s all I got time for right now. I’ll be back with another vid next week. Until then, Darklove to all my creepy sweeties, and laters-haters! Peace!
[Recording ends with a beep]
CHESTER
Videos: Madam E – OMG That callout video!
19-12-2023
[MADAM E is still in studio but she is deeply upset, crying with cracks in her persona.]
MADAM E
(a little hoarse) Hey guys, M&M here with another update.
[She sighs, tearful.]
Y’all probably heard by now that Ink5oul dragged me on their channels. It was… it was vicious, pick-me trash. And everyone bought it and their stans are seriously extra cos… yeah, there’s been proper hate at me. And y’know, I try to rise above, but it’s hard.
I’m a good person. I’m such a good person, but I’ve been getting callouts, death threats, they even doxxed me and then the cops turned up trying to pin all that grave-robbing BS on me. It was total bull. I didn’t do jack, but Ink5oul did me dirty, and so now I guess we’re opps? They are a psycho but no one believes me!
I’ve wanted to talk about this stuff for time but I knew if I did, they’d turn on me and give y’all totally the wrong idea, and now everyone is taking their side and it’s not… (sniffles) it’s not…
[She gasps and clasps her chest.]
It – hurts.
All that hate, all those people wanting me dead or worse, I can feel it. No cap, it hits right here. (she thumps her chest) It’s like y’all are bees stinging me over and over right in the heart! I dunno if the camera’s picking it up but you can even see it…
[Fabric shifts as she positions herself in front of the camera]
That’s not okay, I’m – not okay. I just, I just wanted y’all to listen. But instead…
I’m gonna be taking some time away from socials. Big thanks to all of you who’ve been stepping up for me, but I – can’t…
I just can’t.
[Recording ends with a beep]
CHESTER
Videos: Madam E – Help (Unposted)
03-01-2024
[Recording starts with a beep]
[A hospital bed. Madam E is in a terrible state, breathless and struggling to speak through the pain.]
[Heart monitor beeps softly in the background]
MADAM E
Hey everyone. I’ve been getting a lot of, um, worried comments… on my last vid… so I wanted to update. I’ve got to… be quiet. Not meant to have my phone.
(inhales) So since that last vid, things got worse… started getting dodgy mail… then someone – set my door on fire…
The cats are okay, but… I had to move back in with mum and dad, and now…
[She coughs weakly. It sounds awful.]
I’m in the hospital… there’s – something wrong with my heart… but they’re not sure.
[She gasps again.]
It hurts. It hurts so much… mum – says it’s stress, but doctor says it’s an infection from the tattoo, but… I know it’s more than that.
[She coughs painfully, again and again, and begins crying.]
MADAM E
I just wanted to be noticed… I just… (she sniffles)
I don’t deserve this… Please, please just stop. The views are cutting me. The comments hurt.
I’m done… I’m – done and… and…
[She struggles to breathe. An alarm starts beeping softly, dissonantly]
[Just for a few seconds, there is the sound of tearing skin and a gurgled sound, as though something were tearing itself free of her flesh.]
[The recoding ends.]
SAM
Alice? Are you…
ALICE
(sharply) I’m fine.
[Beat]
Dammit! I’m getting a coffee.
[Alice abruptly stands and stomps over to the break room]
SAM
We should probably…
CELIA
Yeah.
[They both stand and follow her in]
[Extended pause]
[Door opens; footsteps approaches]
GWEN
(to herself) For god’s sake! The second I’m not around…
[She leans over and starts reading Sam’s case]
[An angry knock on glass, from the direction of Lena’s office.]
GWEN
(muttering) Christ, what now?
[Beep as the O.I.A.R. recording ends.]
[GWEN opens the door unceremoniously to find LENA waiting for her.]
GWEN
What now?
LENA
Sit.
GWEN
Look, maybe you didn’t notice but no one is at their desks and the case load tonight is –
LENA
(furious) Sit. Down.
GWEN
…
[Footsteps; she heads over to her seat and sits.]
LENA
(hissing) Are you stupid?
GWEN
(bristling) Excuse me?
LENA
(louder) I said, are. You. Stupid.
[Lena sounds angrier than we’ve ever heard her before.]
GWEN
I don’t –
LENA
Because that is the only – possible – explanation I can find for why you would think it was appropriate to bring an External into our offices.
GWEN
(calmly) I just thought it might be safer if they were in a controlled environment.
LENA
Safer?
You marched a dangerous asset right through the office without taking any precautions! For goodness sake, you gave her a tour! You introduced her to your colleagues! That poses a completely unacceptable risk to personnel –
GWEN
I was with her almost the whole. Time. Besides, Lady Mowbray is a lady, an actual, married into the house of lords, Lady –
[Lena groans in frustration over her words]
GWEN
– It’s not like I was holding doors open for Mr Bonzo or anything.
LENA
You have no idea how dangerous she is.
GWEN
No, I don’t, because you don’t tell me anything!
LENA
And I will keep it that way until you have proven to me that you can be trusted to think before you act!
GWEN
Or I die, right? Because I can’t help noticing that you’re happy to send me out alone to meet all these “dangerous Externals” that you are too afraid to even let into the building!
[Beat]
LENA
Gwen, if the O.I.A.R. is to function, it is imperative that the Externals respect us and the boundaries we impose upon them. Otherwise –
GWEN
Fine! No Externals on site, understood. Happy?
LENA
…
It’s becoming clear to me that you are struggling with your new position. And so I think it might best if you just –
GWEN
(steely) Give me another assignment.
LENA
…Gwen –
GWEN
You can’t take this away just because I did something you never bothered to tell me not to. You’re always going on about how difficult it is to find reliable staff. Then why don’t you try actually training me for once?
LENA
Would you even listen.
GWEN
There’s one way to find out.
[Beat. Lena sighs.]
LENA
I will… consider it.
[Gwen snorts]
LENA
You may go.
[Gwen furiously stands and leaves]
[In the silence, Lena sighs again.]
[The landline cuts out.]
[Music]
ANNOUNCER
The Magnus Protocol is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International License. The series is created by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall, and directed by Alexander J Newall.
This episode was written by Alexander J Newall and edited with additional materials by Jonathan Sims, with vocal edits by Lowri Ann Davies, soundscaping by Tessa Vroom, and mastering by Catherine Rinella with music by Sam Jones.
It featured Billie Hindle as Alice Dyer, Shahan Hamza as Samama Khalid, Anusia Battersby as Gwen Bouchard, Lowri Ann Davies as Celia Ripley, Sarah Lambie as Lena Kelley, with additional voices from Jonathan Sims.
The Magnus Protocol is produced by April Sumner, with executive producers Alexander J Newall, Dani McDonough, Linn Ci, and Samantha F.G. Hamilton, and Associate Producers Jordan L. Hawk, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cetius d’Raven, and Megan Nice.
To subscribe, view associated materials, or join our Patreon, visit rustyquill.com. Rate and review us online, tweet us @therustyquill, visit us on facebook or email us at mail@rustyquill.com.
Thanks for listening.