[INTRO MUSIC]
[COMPUTER STARTUP NOISES]
[SOUNDS OF TYPING FOLLOWED BY A KNOCK ON THE DOOR]
LENA
Ah. (calling) Come in.
SAM
Uh, hi. Sorry, I hope I’m not too early, the email said 9:00 p.m. but I –
LENA
That’s quite all right, please take a seat.
[He sits]
Samama, isn’t it?
SAM
Uh – Sam is fine!
LENA
Very good. Thank you for coming in. Alice has spoken highly of you; you went to University together, I believe?
SAM
Oh, uh, yeah.
LENA
Well, you have a strong CV, decent cover letter, and you present well…
SAM
(flattered) Oh, thank you!
LENA
…so you do not want this job.
[Beat]
SAM
Listen, if you think I’m overqualified, I –
LENA
It would be difficult not to be… but no, it’s not that. To be more accurate, you shouldn’t want this job. This kind of work, it isn’t for everybody.
SAM
…I’m not sure I understand.
[Faint strains of music come in]
LENA
You are clearly a bright, sociable, and ambitious young man who works hard.
SAM
So…?
LENA
So I have no use for you.
[Pause.]
SAM
Please. (desperate) Look, I-I need this.
LENA
…
The hours are punishing and the work is both monotonous and unpleasant. You will have few social interactions, and depression is – highly likely.
SAM
Not a problem.
LENA
Hm.
In that case, I have an aptitude question for you.
(slowly, almost whispering:) What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen?
[A soft glitch of static, starting to rise]
SAM
I’m sorry?
LENA
You’ve seen a friend or relative die, perhaps? An accident? Maybe some kind of violent crime?
[Sam does not answer.]
Something stranger, then. Maybe something you’ve never been able to explain and no one would ever believe. Be honest now, Sam, or I can’t offer you the job.
[Beat]
SAM
(quiet) Yes.
LENA
Hm. (back to business) Wonderful. Thank you for your time, Sam. We’ll be in touch.