SEAS006

Lay Day


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[SHOW THEME – INTRO]

ANNOUNCER

Rusty Quill Presents: Trice Forgotten.

Episode Six: Lay Day.

[INTRO MUSIC FADES OUT, REPLACED BY THE ROARING OF THE SEA]
[INT. THE SICK BAY OF THE NETAOANSOM. AFTERNOON]
[FAINT, MUFFLED, THE EDGES OF MEMORIES]

ZHU ANRAN

Jump, Ndiliswa, go!

[SPLASH]

NDILISWA

Appa!

ZHU ANRAN

Ndiliswa!

[WHOOSH.]

ZHU ANRAN

(singing) …little carp, flying through the river there… watch how she swims…

NDILISWA

Appa!

[WHOOSH.]

GAMMON

Alestes, you little tick, get up that rigging now!

ANH

Scared of heights, land-slug?

ALESTES

I was born in the water, dullard. I’m not a slug, I’m a carp!

ANH

What?

ALESTES

You heard me! I said, I’m a –

[THE NOISES OF MEMORY-WATER FADE AWAY]

ALESTES

(back in reality) ‘m a carp – can swim good as – you’re a slug – oh. (woozy) I don’t feel… good…

[A THUMP]
[A DOOR ROLLS OPEN]

BAKER

Come on, get her in the bed!

NOOR

Gently, gently! We will not wake her by hitting her head.

INEZ

More’s the pity.

NOOR

Not helpful, Inez.

SIVA

What can I do? What’s wrong with her? Is it the sickly tummy from the bad fish again?

BAKER

Inez, get the blankets – she’s got a fever.

[INEZ SNORTS. THE DOOR ROLLS BACK SHUT]

NOOR

She will be well, Baker, we will see to it.

SIVA

Shall I mop her brow? Make a broth? Bring cold water? (gasps) I could read to her from Homer! I find the original Greek most soothing – ἄνδρα μοι ἔννεπε, μοῦσα, πολύτροπον, ὃς μάλα πολλὰ – [Translation: Tell me, muse, of the man of many ways, who was driven –]

BAKER

Yes, yes, do – all of that, Siva.

[SIVA RUNS OFF]

BAKER

(calling after him) Except the Homer!

[THE DOOR ROLLS OPEN, THEN SHUT]
[BAKER EXHALES A SHAKY BREATH]

NOOR

(reassuring) It is a fever. Quite simple to nurse, and Alestes is strong.

BAKER

Is she?

I tell her not to over-exert herself. She gets these tired spells and then –

NOOR

Hmm.

BAKER

What?

NOOR

I do not like how her heart is beating. Feel.

[A HAND IS PLACED]

ALESTES

(woozy) Get OFF me you snake-bellied… I can take all of you any day –

NOOR

(amused despite themself) I suppose we should be grateful that she is still Alestes, even dreaming…

[EXT. THE DECK OF THE GALLOPING ENGLISHMAN. DAY.]
[ALESTES’S MEMORY AGAIN]

GAMMON

My girls return!

[CREW CHEER]

And they’ve only gone and got the BLOODY SWAG!

ALESTES

Well, Gammon, credit where credit’s due: you couldn’t have done it without me.

[ANH COUGHS]

ANH

Ahem. Us.

ALESTES

Us. Yep, me and Annie here –

ANH

Anh.

ALESTES

– have come up with the goods –

ANH

– once again.

[ANOTHER CHEER FROM THE CREW]

GAMMON

Alright, alright, enough showboating. What do you want, a bloody medal?

ANH

Just our fair share of the prize, óc lợn. [translation: pig brain]

GAMMON

(audible smile) Of course. A third for Alestes… and a quarter for Anh.

ANH

What?

GAMMON

(abruptly louder) Maybe that’ll teach you to keep a civil tongue in your head!

ANH

But Alestes –!

ALESTES

Alestes what?

ANH

The way you talk to him is a thousand times worse than the way I do.

ALESTES

I’ve earned the right to talk to him like that.

ANH

“Earned the right” to be a cheeky –

GAMMON

Hold your tongue or get your pay docked, Anh. Again.

ALESTES

You want to know how I earned the right?

ANH

How?

ALESTES

By being better than you.

[CREW NOISES OF EXCITEMENT AND BETTING: A FIGHT IS BREWING!]

ANH

I’ll fight you any day, any way, with whatever weapon you can get your sea-rat paws on.

ALESTES

Why wait? Right now is good for me!

[ALESTES DRAWS HER SWORD]

ANH

I thought you’d never ask!

[ANH DRAWS HER SWORD]

ALESTES

I hope you’ve got a will because –

GAMMON

ENOUGH!

[CREW MAKES NOISES OF DISAPPOINTMENT]

Shut up, all of you. Pissing about with brawls when there’s money to be made. (contempt) Put your swords away, girls.

Anh! Now!

[A SWORD IS SHEATHED]

Alestes.

[RELUCTANTLY, ANOTHER SWORD IS SHEATHED]

That’s better! Alright, get the wax out of your fetid ears and listen up – duty roster. Jammy, you’re swabbing decks! Pike, caulking! Kai, you’re on…

[HIS VOICE FADES, REPLACED WITH:]

BAKER

Alestes? Alestes!

ALESTES

What? Not now, I have to listen to…

BAKER

Alestes!

[INT. THE SICK BAY OF THE NETAOANSOM. LATER.]

ALESTES

Anh… Gammon…

BAKER

(gentle) It’s alright. They can’t hurt you now.

SIVA

Those names –

[A BEAT]

BAKER

It’s, it’s, it’s nothing.

SIVA

Anh is… the pirate who kidnapped me.

NOOR

The one with the bamboo flute.

BAKER

Does it matter? That’s the past.

NOOR

I do not think Siva being abducted and held at knife-point two weeks ago can be said to be “the past”!

SIVA

Yes, it was very traumatic for me, I still have trouble sleeping.

NOOR

It is clear that your past is rapidly becoming our present.

BAKER

Noor, we need more broth.

NOOR

Send for Inez, then.

BAKER

Noor!

NOOR

I am sorry, Baker – but if people are coming after us and you know who they are –

SIVA

We do have a right to know.

BAKER

Yes. You do. But Alestes…

NOOR

(voice dangerously close to cracking) You said, before, that your story was not only your story to tell. You were right. This is now our story too.

[BAKER SIGHS. A BEAT.]

BAKER

…They were called the Florists. The crew that Alestes and I sailed with before the Netaoansom.

SIVA

The Florists! Oh, I thought Anh was asking me about horticulturalists! No wonder she was cross.

BAKER

I was just a ship’s cook, a skivvy – but Alestes… she was his star pupil.

NOOR

“His”?

BAKER

(grimly) Gammon. Commander of the Florists, Captain of The Galloping Englishman.

SIVA

(snorts) Gammon.

BAKER

It was a nickname, and not a kind one. But it’s good for those that have power to laugh at themselves now and then. Makes it easier to believe they’re… your friend.

NOOR

What happened?

BAKER

We sailed, and we fought, we plundered, we set sail again. I saw Alestes becoming… something else. Something she hadn’t always been.

I wanted us to leave. She’d put away a tidy sum, enough for us to return – to go anywhere we wanted. She wouldn’t hear of it. I think she was… (searching for the right words) enjoying herself too much.

SIVA

But – you’re here now, so…

NOOR

…What broke this – galloping Englishman’s spell?

[EXT. AN ISLET. MOONLIT NIGHT.]
[THE VOICES ECHO, AS WE HAVE LEARNED IS CHARACTERISTIC OF ALESTES’S DREAMS]

ALESTES

My God, old man, where are you taking me?

GAMMON

Now, now, Alestes, good things come to those who wait.

ALESTES

Come quicker to those who nick ‘em.

GAMMON

(laughing) Ahahaha! Oh, you’re a chip off the old… ah, nevermind.

ALESTES

(pleased) No, go on.

GAMMON

What?

ALESTES

You can say it.

GAMMON

Whaaaat?

ALESTES

You think I’m good.

GAMMON

Ha!

ALESTES

You think I’m a natural!

GAMMON

Do I now.

ALESTES

The most fearsome buccaneer on the seven seas since Anne and Mary strapped on breeches!

GAMMON

Is that so –?

[HE STICKS A FOOT OUT AND TRIPS ALESTES, WHO GOES TUMBLING]

ALESTES

You tripped me!

GAMMON

You want to be the most fearsome buccaneer on the seven seas, you got to be quicker on your pins than that, girl.

ALESTES

Slimey bastard.

GAMMON

Oi! English bastard. Right, we’re here.

ALESTES

“Here” looks suspiciously like “everywhere else” on this godforsaken spit of land.

GAMMON

“Here” is where we start looking.

ALESTES

For what? Treasure?

GAMMON

(cackles) You really are a grubby little thief, aren’t you? Yes, treasure.

ALESTES

Go on then, where’s the map?

GAMMON

No map. Not for this one.

ALESTES

Then what?

GAMMON

Hush your yap, girl, and I’ll tell you. There’s a story to this hoard.

ALESTES

Ugh, ‘course there is.

[GAMMON CLEARS HIS THROAT]

GAMMON

There are many ways to lay markers back to treasure, they say. Maps, notches in trees, instructions whispered in a sleeping mermaid’s ear –

ALESTES

Please don’t go near any sleeping women, Gammon.

GAMMON

(voice suddenly raises) Do you want to hear this – (lower) or not?

ALESTES

Fine.

GAMMON

But there’s only one way to ensure that only the bravest and truest find what you’ve laid in the dirt. Now. I’ve taught you to dig, yes? How to pick a spot to hide… sensitive items from the law? How to slip a boat onto a cay by moonlight and be off again, without so much as a whisper to tell you were ever there?

ALESTES

…Yes.

GAMMON

Exactly. You were trained, girl, just like generations of honest privateers before you. And if there’s one thing privateers like, it’s a pet. Jammy, with his monkey. Pike’s got that old cat.

ALESTES

Kai with that bird that shits everywhere.

GAMMON

Kai with that bird that – yes, exactly. But before monkeys and cats and… incontinent birds, there was one animal that was favoured of buccaneers everywhere: the sea turtle.

ALESTES

(disbelieving) The sea turtle?

GAMMON

It’s true, true as I’m standing afore you now. And the more these pirates looked after these turtles, the more a special bond grew up. Every Captain who buried his treasure released two sea turtles at the same time, each fed with a tiny, tiny nugget of the gold he was hiding. And if you can find those two turtles that belong to a particular treasure, and you ask ‘em with the right words and the right manner – why, they’ll lead you right back to it. Easy as eel pie.

[A VERY LONG PAUSE]
[ALESTES BURSTS OUT LAUGHING]

ALESTES

Bollocks!

GAMMON

No, it’s true!

ALESTES

Oh, you almost had me there for a minute, you whey-faced, cloth-eared – treasure-seeking turtles? Of all the things I’ve ever heard, that has to be the stupidest damn –

[PAUSE]

Are those – No.

GAMMON

Don’t be so sure of yourself, Miss Alestes. There are more things in heaven and earth.

[INT. THE SICK BAY OF THE NETAOANSOM. LATER.]

ALESTES

…Turtles… s’not… stories, Gammon…

NOOR

Her heartbeat’s rising again. (worried) So is her temperature.

BAKER

No, no, no, no, no – Siva, we need more water, more cloths – get Inez to help.

[DOOR ROLLS OPEN, INEZ ENTERS]

NOOR

Good, Inez – take Siva, get as many rags as you can find.

INEZ

(deadly serious) We’re being followed.

BAKER

What?

INEZ

Off the starboard bough, just a rowboat. But it’s been tailing us for the last hour.

BAKER

Ay! Not now!

INEZ

What we do, Big Man?

[PAUSE]

BAKER

…We make Alestes well. She’s our captain. (faster, more certain) Inez, get up there and keep an eye on the boat – if it gets any closer, you let us know. Siva –

SIVA

Rags and water, yes, I know.

[HE EXITS]

ALESTES

I can’t keep… I have to stop…

[HIGH, DISSONANT STRINGS]
[EXT. AN ISLET. MOONLIT NIGHT]
[DIGGING AND SCRAPING NOISES]

GAMMON

(straining) Come on, girl, put some welly into it.

ALESTES

(straining) I’m digging faster than you, old man.

GAMMON

You’re half my age, you should be hitting the seabed by now.

ALESTES

Fine!

[EVEN MORE ENTHUSIASTIC DIGGING NOISES AS ALESTES GROANS]

GAMMON

Here.

[CORK IS POPPED, LIQUID IS DRUNK]

ALESTES

Agh!

GAMMON

That’s best English ale there, lass.

ALESTES

(derogatory) No kidding.

[BEAT]

GAMMON

(sighs) What do you want, Alestes?

ALESTES

Some beer that doesn’t taste like piss would be nice.

GAMMON

No, no, no. From – all this?

ALESTES

The beach?

GAMMON

Life, girl! I’m asking you what you want out of life.

ALESTES

Why?

GAMMON

I’m curious. Most of my crew, they’re a simple lot, and I don’t mind that. Full bellies, weekly rum rations and a pretty girl or two when we make port. Or in Anh’s case, weekly rum rations, someone to kill, and a pretty girl or two when we make port. But you… you don’t give much away, do you?

ALESTES

Don’t I?

GAMMON

(chuckles) Very good. You are a card.

ALESTES

What about you then, what do you “want”?

GAMMON

Me? Oh, I’m a simple chap, really. An easy life.

ALESTES

A bit more than weekly rum, though?

GAMMON

True, true, I’ve got some plans. A few more hauls like the one you brought in today and who knows?

There. I’ve shared. Now you.

ALESTES

(thoughtful) I want… the same, I suppose. A quiet life, a nice island to retire to, and a pile of gold to keep me warm at night.

GAMMON

That’s – all?

ALESTES

That’s all.

[A PAUSE]

GAMMON

Well, who am I to judge? In that case, I think we can come to an accord.

ALESTES

(slow) What d’you mean?

GAMMON

A nice island, and a pile of gold? I could fix you up tomorrow.

ALESTES

But my contract –

GAMMON

Early release for good behaviour.

ALESTES

This is a trick. You’re not seriously offering to let me out.

GAMMON

I don’t make promises I don’t intend to keep.

ALESTES

Yes you do.

GAMMON

Alright, yes I do. But I don’t renege on deals that are in my interest.

ALESTES

“Deals”?

GAMMON

Like I said, a private island and a mountain of gold. Could be yours tomorrow.

ALESTES

…What would I have to do?

[INT. THE SICK BAY OF THE NETAOANSOM. LATER.]

NOOR

Get another cloth, Inez!

INEZ

I’m doing it!

SIVA

What happened?

NOOR

I don’t know! Her temperature just shot up out of nowhere. Feel her heart –

SIVA

Oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear…

BAKER

Siva, stop panicking, just keep that bucket topped up, we have to keep her cool!

SIVA

(hurrying to do so) Oh, oh, oh…

NOOR

Baker, she’s speaking –

ALESTES

(delirious) No no no no, won’t… can’t… (pained) you can’t make me…

SIVA

She’s distressed!

INEZ

We’re all distressed, Siva!

BAKER

Oi! Enough of that, go outside if you want to fight.

SIVA

Do we have any bananas on board?

INEZ

What?!

SIVA

A banana skin laid across the forehead can help bring down a temperature! My Nani used to –

BAKER

Siva!

SIVA

Right! Yes! I will go and see if we’ve got one.

[BEAT]
[A BUMP FROM SOMEWHERE AGAINST THE HULL OF THE BOAT]

NOOR

What was that?

BAKER

Sounded like… someone boarding.

SIVA

(clearly terrified, but putting on a brave face) I – I’ll go and see.

INEZ

No. I’ll go. Could do with banging some heads together.

BAKER

Be careful!

[THE DOOR ROLLS OPEN-SHUT DECISIVELY]

Come on, Alestes… where are you?

[EXT. THE DECK OF THE GALLOPING ENGLISHMAN. DAWN.]
[CREW CHEERING, LAUGHING, CLAPPING]

GAMMON

That’s right, while you lazy sacks of ordure snored in your bunks, the lady Alestes and I were bringing home… this.

[HE KICKS OVER A CHEST AND GOLD COINS POUR ONTO THE DECK]
[CHEERING RENEWED]

Feast your eyes, boys – there will be buns for tea.

Oi! “Fingers” – you better keep yours to yourself or I’ll get my sword out and everyone will wonder if that nickname of yours is ironic.

[LAUGHTER]

Bo’sun! Get this lot down to the treasury and a heavy lock on the door – after Miss Alestes has taken her fair share, of course.

[OOHS, MORE LAUGHING]

Don’t you have jobs, you horrible reprobates? Get going!

ANH

Another successful mission, was it?

ALESTES

(not in the mood) Mm.

ANH

You know, we could all be rich if he deigned to take the rest of us out on as many… “solo trips” as he does you. I wonder why that is.

ALESTES

Piss off, Anh, I need to sleep.

ANH

(annoyed) What’s wrong with you? You usually can’t wait to crow about Daddy’s latest favour.

ALESTES

(breathing harshly) Nothing. Just leave it, yeah, Anh? I need to see – (notices him) Baker!

ANH

(calling after her) Coward!

[HURRIED FOOTSTEPS]

ALESTES

(voice lowered) Baker. We have to leave.

BAKER

What?

ALESTES

Tonight. When we moor off Sibolga, we have to grab what we can and go. I’ve got my gold stashed in an apple barrel, so just be ready.

BAKER

Did something happen?

ALESTES

(steamrolling) We can use the gold to buy a ship, make a bit of coin on the trade routes, and then –

BAKER

Did you do something?

ALESTES

No. It wasn’t me, it was –

[SHE FALTERS]

Gammon offered me a deal. He said he’d buy out my contract. If…

BAKER

If? Alestes…

ALESTES

He wants me to kill someone.

BAKER

Who?

…Me?

ALESTES

No. But. I can’t. (a bitter remnant of a laugh) Maybe if I could, it would be better.

BAKER

No, child. You cannot buy freedom with something you’d regret for the rest of your life.

ALESTES

I’m sorry, Baker.

BAKER

What for?

ALESTES

As soon as we run, they’ll come after us. It won’t be easy, just you and me crewing a ship.

BAKER

Hey… You sound more like yourself than you have for a long time. That’s enough for me – Captain.

ALESTES

Captain. (a little cheered up) I do like the sound of that.

[BEAT]
[THE NOISE OF RUSHING WAVES, BUILDING, STARTING TO DROWN OUT THEIR VOICES]

…Can you hear that?

BAKER

Hear what?

ALESTES

You – (alarmed) you must be able to hear.

[BAKER’S VOICE IS FAR AWAY]

BAKER

Alestes? Alestes, where are you?

ALESTES

Baker! I-I can’t see you! Baker, where are – the bananas – they’re – everywhere

[WAVES CUT OUT]
[INT. THE SICK BAY OF THE NETAOANSOM. LATER.]

ALESTES

Baker!

[SHE PANTS IN EXERTION]

BAKER

It’s alright, I’m here, I’m here.

INEZ

(dry) Aw. Sweet.

ALESTES

Where – this isn’t my room.

[SHE PEELS SOMETHING AWAY FROM HER SKIN OVER HER NEXT WORDS]

Why is there banana on my face?

[THE BANANA IS DISCARDED]

NOOR

(slowly, clearly, like talking to a child) You are in the sickbay, Captain. You had a fever.

SIVA

Do you feel better now? Noor nursed you all through it, they were amazing, it was truly a privilege to watch.

NOOR

Myself and Baker have been keeping watch over you.

ALESTES

Oh… Good.

[SHE SHIFTS A LITTLE]

Why are you all staring? Don’t you have jobs to do?

INEZ

I think we can safely say she’s feeling better.

ALESTES

You can get out now. I’ll just… have a wash and a little nap and…

BAKER

(dark) That won’t be possible.

ALESTES

(snorts) Why? The ocean didn’t evaporate while I was out, did it? Bring me some water –

BAKER

You have a visitor.

[BEAT]

ALESTES

In the middle of the sea? Am I still asleep?

BAKER

No. They rowed here. Boarded an hour ago. You’re… you’re going to want to get dressed.

[ALESTES GROANS]

ALESTES

Fine. Bring me my boots. And my biggest hat.

[FOOTSTEPS]
[INT. ALESTES’S CABIN. NIGHT.]
[A DOOR IS ROLLED OPEN]

ALESTES

(immediate) Get out of my chair.

GAMMON

Manners, Miss Alestes. “A merry host makes merry guests.” Did I teach you nothing?

ALESTES

Guests are usually invited, Gammon. Get out.

GAMMON

I just want you to have a little chat. A social call, really. You look like shit, by the way.

ALESTES

At least that’s unusual for me.

GAMMON

Can’t say I care for the service here but it’s always hard to find a decent cup of char outside of Blighty, isn’t it?

ALESTES

Whatever you have to say, I don’t care.

GAMMON

(laughs) Oh, I think you might.

ALESTES

Why, have you suddenly become interesting in the last two years?

GAMMON

Oho, so young, and so untender!

ALESTES

(half drawing sword) I swear to God –

GAMMON

I’ve buried my treasure.

ALESTES

You’ve – what?

GAMMON

Business has been good since you left. In a way, you solved my problem, leaving like you did. Anh’s really stepped up since I gave her her own ship.

ALESTES

So? I’ve got my own ship too – whatever, Gammon.

GAMMON

The money’s been pouring in, a bit too noticeably for my comfort – so! I’m leaving some of it in an… on-shore account.

ALESTES

Why should I believe you?

GAMMON

You don’t have to.

ALESTES

It’s a trick.

GAMMON

Could be!

ALESTES

But why would you tell me? Why invite me to go looking for your stash?

GAMMON

Because I like you, Alestes. I always did. It’s a shame we couldn’t be friends, but… we don’t have to be enemies.

My little birdies tell me you’re trying to get into the merchant business. Pottery and the like? A clean break from all this nasty piracy. The treasure I’ve buried, it’s more than enough for you to afford what only money can buy: a quiet life. No more sailing, no more violence.

ALESTES

As if I need handouts from the likes of you.

GAMMON

Trade must be… very good around these parts.

ALESTES

Booming.

[A SILENCE]

Right. Well. Information received. You can go now.

GAMMON

One last thing.

ALESTES

Isn’t there always?

GAMMON

My treasure. There’s no map. No notches on trees. No words whispered in a mermaid’s ear.

ALESTES

Don’t tell me…

[RUMMAGING NOISES]

GAMMON

You’ll need these.

ALESTES

Bloody sea turtles. Give them, then.

GAMMON

Ah ah ah – not so fast. You know me, Alestes, I love a deal.

ALESTES

Yeah, yeah, the “favour” you had Anh extort from me by kidnapping my crewmate. I’ve already said yes.

GAMMON

Exactly! You’ve already said yes. You’ve got to sweeten the pot a little more than that, my dear! Give me something new, something… original.

ALESTES

What… would you want for the turtles?

GAMMON

That’s not the question, is it? The question is: what are you prepared to give?

[SHOW THEME – OUTRO]

SIVA

Trice Forgotten is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International License. The series is created by Nemo Martin and directed by Rafaella Marcus. Today’s episode was written by Rafaella Marcus and Nemo Martin and edited by Nico Vettese, Maddy Searle, Tessa Vroom, Katharine Seaton and Catherine Rinella.

Trice Forgotten features: Rebecca Brough, Vic Zander, Shahan Hamza, Gigi Zahir, Ashley Goh, Tim Meredith, Naomi Bartoo. Trice Forgotten is produced by Lowri Ann Davies, Ian Geers and production manager Natasha Johnston, with executive producers Alexander J Newall and April Sumner.

To subscribe, view associated materials, or join our Patreon, visit rustyquill.com. Rate and review us online, tweet us @therustyquill, visit us on Facebook or email us at mail@rustyquill.com. Thanks for listening.